An Appropriate Valentine's Day Movie: How To Be Single (Part I)

"All the single ladies;

All the single ladies

All the single ladies

All the single ladies

Now put your hands up!

Wuh uh oh uh uh oh oh uh oh uh uh oh"

For Valentine's Day this year, my sister and I thought we'd do something we really wanted; something a bit rebellious and bold ... so we blocked our calendars to watch "Deadpool" (What? It's rebellious ... sort of).  

Valentine's Day rolls in and we strut to the ticket booth.  Sold Out.  But we're there already, so we might as well watch a movie.  We go through the movies showing and there's nothing interesting, save for one:  "How To Be Single".  Wonderful.  God is mocking us. 

As we walked into the theater, the crowd consisted of couples who did not make it to the "Deadpool" showing.  I had to suppress a chuckle as I thought,  "How appropriate."  

The movie did not disappoint.  It was quirky funny in true Rebel Wilson fashion and, surprisingly, insightful - mostly because it was totally relatable.

On the ride home, we talked about who our Toms, Davids or Joshes are, sending us giggling back down memory lane.  But those are stories for another day. Let's talk about the male stereotypes.

Josh

Josh is the boy you've known all your life.  He knows all your little quirks and the perks that go with them. He understands you and you understand him.  It's so hard to imagine life without him.  In so many ways, he feels a lot like a security blanket:  familiar, dependable, cozy and comfortable.  Sometimes the familiarity can get boring.  Sometimes you yearn for it like home.

It would be good to find your Josh at the right time, when you're ready ... and he is ready.  Otherwise, one or both will feel the need to explore, "see what's out there" and understand "what I'm missing". You start out, planning (and secure in the thought) to come back.  Sometimes it works out and you resume to walk the road together, confident and sure-footed.  

But then, sometimes, life happens and, when you circle back, you find yourselves face-to-face with a very familiar stranger.

Tom

Tom is the guy you find extremely attractive and you feel amazing chemistry with.   So does every other girl.  He is acutely aware of this and has made a science out of allocating his time among a menu of girls:  a girl for every occasion. He is a self-confessed non-relationship type of guy, ready to have fun within your imagined parameters.  To be fair, he is honest and upfront.  But women are inherently given to hearing only what they want to hear; and prone to disillusions of being the one who will tame his rogue heart.  And, so, they choose to remain on the menu.

The thing is, Tom would make a great partner - with his ability to tune in and a keen understanding of the female psyche - IF and WHEN he decides to.  

Don't hold your breath for it.

David

David is the guy who checks out against every item in your checklist ... but he is not ready for you right now. It can be an old flame, a career goal, family, etc.  Whatever or whoever it is, you are not the priority at the moment.  To compete is futile.  

Abort!

Perhaps in the future, when the timing is perfect and you're both ready, you can pick up from where you left off.  Perhaps.

Paul

Paul is the fluke.  He's the one who seems perfect at the onset.  You throw yourself full throttle into the relationship only to realize that you're heading towards opposite directions; that you had stars in your eyes which prevented you from seeing HIM; that the differences are not complementary; that the little things are not little and they actually add up substantially.

Cut your losses.  

Brush yourself off and try again.

Ken

Ken is the unlikely choice, who turns out to be the one.  He's the one who will make you think twice about judging a book by its cover. (Hehe!).  He will seem like the opposite of almost everything in your checklist; the misfit.  You vehemently shake your head, No.  But he stays (patiently hopeful and annoyingly persistent) and creeps under your skin.  Next thing you know, you notice the nuances that highlight who he is and he becomes just a little bit more adorable each day.

So you give in - kicking and screaming.

For heaven's sake, let go already!

George

Then there's George.  He could be any of the first 4 or someone completely different, who turned out to be the one.  He was at the right place, at the right time; had the minimum requirements (the non-negotiables, duh!) or the full criteria; shares the same wavelength or, at least, catches your drift; had the intent, acted on it and committed to it (all the way, baby!).

He is ready.

And so are you.