Last Sunday's readings are both beautiful and embarrassing. Beautiful, because God laid out His desires in a simple and straightforward (read: idiot-proof) manner. Beautiful, because He also reassured us that He's got this - everything is in His hands. Embarrassing, because it's so simple it's embarrassing that He had to spell it out for us.
Gospel
Luke 10:25-37
"There was a scholar of the law who stood up to test Jesus and said, “Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus said to him, “What is written in the law? How do you read it?” He said in reply, “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your being, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” He replied to him, “You have answered correctly; do this and you will live.”
1st Reading
Deuteronomy 30:10-14
"Moses said to the people: If only you would heed the voice of the Lord, your God, and keep his commandments and statutes that are written in this book of the law, when you return to the Lord, your God, with all your heart and all your soul. For this command that I enjoin on you today is not too mysterious and remote for you. It is not up in the sky, that you should say, ‘Who will go up in the sky to get it for us and tell us of it, that we may carry it out?’ Nor is it across the sea, that you should say, ‘Who will cross the sea to get it for us and tell us of it, that we may carry it out?’No, it is something very near to you, already in your mouths and in your hearts; you have only to carry it out.”
In both readings God tells us that we already know His will - which is, basically, to LOVE. It is embedded in our hearts, something we know innately. It is not something that we need to search for or even analyze. It's right there, in plain sight. All we really need to do is actually do it!
I have this compulsion to over-analyze things. I feel it in my gut. This is God's will and yet I go over it again and again in my head. Is this God's will or is this what I think is God's will? And, so, I stand in that same place, unmoving, stupefied - for ages! So much time wasted just thinking if it's the right thing, if it's God's will. Tsk, tsk, tsk!
2nd Reading
Colossians 1:15-20
"Christ Jesus is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn ofall creation. 16 For in him were created all things in heaven and on earth, the visible and the invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers; all things were created through him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together."
"In Him all things hold together"
So, once I've finally established and I'm absolutely sure it's God's will, the next thing I do is obsess over how I will go about it. I analyze the current state and assess it vs. my future/ideal state. Then I see all the obstacles and the impossibilities. I obsess over the "how-to's" and kill myself worrying about how I can accomplish His will when: (1) I only have 24 hours in my day; (2) I am a single mom; (3) I have limited resources; (4) Blah, blah, blah, blah.
I can just imagine Him shaking His head. If I would only stop and be still long enough to hear Him say (and believe as He does): "Relax, I've got this", then I'd probably be a freer and happier person.
I know all these in theory. I'd score perfect on a written exam. But I'm flunking big time in actual practice. I constantly have to remind myself that He truly holds all things together and everything will fall into place in His time. I just need to keep going and focus on doing my part.
Him first and then everything else will follow.
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