Lenten Series: Lights and Shadows

Faith, for me, had always been associated with a palpable feeling of believing and knowing for sure.  But, like any other feeling, it seems fleeting and fickle - sometimes sure, brave and strong; sometimes uncertain, trembling and weak.

Just a few weeks ago, He spoke to me in you-can't-possible-miss-this terms that I felt elated.  Surely, this was the idiot-proof sign I had been praying for!  And for days I floated on air, beaming ... until there was just me and silence and life unfolding uneventfully.  Before I knew it, I found myself in a dark cloud.  Nasty place.  Nasty feeling.

Yet, in the darkness is where light - even the tiniest - shines the brightest.

That was Sunday for me:  a tiny point of light amidst a blanket of darkness.

1st pinpoint of light:  Monsignor Manny Gabriel's voice.  What are the odds he'd be celebrating the Mass we attended?  Just hearing his voice somehow comforted me.

And then the stars came:

1st Reading:  Genesis 15:5-12, 17-18
12 "As the sun was about to set, a trance fell upon Abram, and a deep, terrifying darkness enveloped him.  

Gospel:  Luke 9:28-36
"34 While he was still speaking, a cloud came and cast a shadow over them, and they became frightened when they entered the cloud. "

The shadows do come and the darkness they bring is bound to be frightening.  That is its purpose.

But we must always ...

Responsorial Psalm:  Psalm 27:1, 7-8, 8-9, 13-14
"...believe that I shall see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living. 14 Wait for the Lord with courage; be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord. "

2nd Reading:  Philippians 3:17-4:1
"...stand firm in the Lord."

Because  ...

Gospel:  Luke 9:28-36
"Then from the cloud came a voice ..."

1st Reading:  Genesis 15:5-12, 17-18
17 When the sun had set and it was dark, there appeared a smoking fire pot and a flaming torch, which passed between those pieces. 18 It was on that occasion that the Lord made a covenant with Abram ..."

"Faith is a personal covenant with God" (Monsi Manny). A covenant - sacred promise - between you and God.  So keep the faith and "stand firm".  Hold on to that light, while you sit in darkness and wait on Him.

Lenten Series: Waiting For Favorable Conditions

Today was all about WAITING.

I woke up to find an audio message - Waiting Room - for me from a friend.  I didn't get to listen to it until late in the afternoon, while I was rushing through rush hour traffic to get to Ash Wednesday Mass.

It spoke of different biblical characters who had to wait - years - for their prayers to be answered:  Abraham and Sarah were old before they had a child; Joseph spent years in prison before becoming a leader in Egypt; Job through years of suffering before being blessed immensely; Simeon waited most of his life to finally see the Messiah.

That's a whole lot of waiting.  And for what?  As the audio message said, "He tunes our hearts and strengthens our character in the waiting."

"Wait for the Lord;
    be strong, and let your heart take courage;
    wait for the Lord!" (Psalm 27:14)

In all of those situations, in the end, God was faithful to His promise and delivered far beyond expectations ... at the right moment.

Which leads me to the verse in today's 2nd Reading which struck me:

"For he says: In an acceptable time I heard you, and on the day of salvation I helped you. Behold, now is a very acceptable time; behold, now is the day of salvation." (2 Corinthians 6:2)

It reminded me of a line from The Little Prince.  In his conversation with the King from asteroid 325, the Little Prince asked the King to order the sun to set.  To which, the King replied, "You shall have your sunset.  I shall command it.  But ... I shall wait until conditions are favorable."

At first glance, the statement may seem funny - the King's attempt at hiding the fact that he, in fact, does not have dominion over everything.  But, contemplating it deeper, I thought about what another friend told me, "There is order in the universe."

We are part of this complex tapestry of life.  Individual but interdependent, such that one little thing we do or not do triggers a series of events which, inevitably, impacts everyone - in one form or another.  Thus, for one thing to happen (or not happen), all conditions should be favorable.  A series of seemingly independent events come together like clockwork to make that happen.  Only God knows what those are and when it will all align.

Forcing our way when the time is not right will be preemptive, much like pulling out a domino piece before it's due to drop in a domino chain effect.

So, be calm in the waiting and, sometimes, the deafening silence.

Hold fast - in excited anticipation - for His impeccable timing and faithfulness.  Because, when that time comes, our God of surprises shall not be outdone.

This Is How I Will Choose You (By: Anjana Rajbhandary)

A very good friend of mine sent me this article.  The first time I read it, it struck a cord ... so much, I felt a little sniffle rising. This.  This is exactly how a relationship should be.  For the past couple of days I'd been mulling over it.  It made me scared. It made me hopeful.

I am sharing this ... to unsettle you; to move you; to broaden your perspective; to help you get better at your present relationship; or to enable you to find and build a relationship that's real and rock-solid.

This Is How I Will Choose You 

By: Anjana Rajbhandary

I was recently talking to a friend about relationships when she said something that really stuck with me: “Relationships aren’t easy. They take work. You have to change with them. People think it’s a cliché to change for another person, but if you want to continue being with someone else, you have to let yourself grow, and growth is change.”

You need to change to grow. You need to be with the person who is willing to grow with you. You have to be with someone you can fight well with, because conflict is inevitable. If you cannot change yourself and grow with the other person, it will never work in the long run.

In many relationships, one person grows and the other one usually stays the same. Maybe that’s why the divorce rate is so high.

I don’t believe that it is bad to change. We should want to change. It’s a part of life. Nothing remains the same; you are going against nature if you refuse to evolve. Nothing stays as constant as change in the world. But as humans, change scares us, because it promises unpredictability. And unpredictability can be threatening.

You can never change anyone, but you can change yourself. And when you change, mean it. Change to become the best version of yourself that you did not think was possible.

You have to be strong to reveal your vulnerabilities, and when someone can promise to protect your soul, you know you have taken your shell off at the right time. Many people will stomp all over your weaknesses, leaving you broken and bruised, making you question your choices. But you were never wrong and you were never a fool. This is just life.

There is no right situation or right time, because something will always be wrong. When two people share the same goals and want the same things in life, the timing and the location are just subsidiary. When two people want to make it work, they do. It’s not rocket science.

Life is full of temptations, but you have to make a choice and you have to honor your promise to the person. You have to respect yourself to be able to respect the other person’s feelings, because everyone can get hurt. That’s when you fight for yourself and you fight for the other person, because without them, it wouldn’t be the same.

Meet someone who won’t make you question your thoughts and your feelings. Meet someone who makes you feel safe. Meet someone you are scared to lose every day, but someone who will never let you get lost. Meet someone who doesn’t make you question yourself. Meet someone who makes you realize the magic of living, because that is the whole point.

Meet someone who treats you like the best damn thing in the world that could ever exist, and treat them the same way.

Never let your heart compromise with ‘what if.’  Why do so many of us settle? Because we think it’s the best we deserve, or the most precious that we can find. 

Choose someone who will do whatever it takes, because sometimes it takes a lot, and it is scary. Choose someone who is willing to risk themselves in the process because you would do the same. Choose someone who chooses you with the same promise you made yourself – a promise of happiness that comes with a price, but a price well worth it.

We cannot promise eternity but only hope for the best. When I choose you, I will choose only you. We cannot promise each other a forever, but when I am with you, I will be with only you.

Until then, I wait.