I like having my niece and nephew over. Their chaotic presence demand my full attention, which is often a much-needed distraction from my list of to-dos and big and petty worries.A couple of weeks ago, they stayed over for the weekend. I missed them so much, I brought them out on a road trip to BGC (Bonifacio Global City) where I work. But, more importantly, where our favorite ice cream shop is located. It was much like any day out with them with all their crazy antics and, before we knew it, it was time to go home.
On the drive home, though, my son showed my nephew my photo from our high-school reunion. My nephew gasped (in awe and mild surprise), "Wow! Ninang, you look so beautiful! Why don't you have a husband? Nobody fell inlove with you? Why?!" In one breath. (Kids say the darndest things ... and they always manage to throw it at you like a curve ball). To which my son, my knight in shining armor (bless his heart), promptly replied, "I'm inlove with her!"
I looked at my son in the rear view mirror and just smiled. "We both know that's not what he meant. It's okay." My nephew, sensing how my son switched to defense mode, decided to let it go. "I love your car, Ninang".
The rest of the way I kept thinking: How do you explain love in the context of marriage to a five-year old?
How do you explain, that falling or being inlove is different from loving? And that people who fall inlove sometimes just fall out of love?
How do you explain, that the role of beauty in an honest and loving relationship is overrated? That, while beauty makes one stop to look, it is not what makes one stay?
How do you explain that falling inlove with someone is never the reason to get married? That marriage is the decision to continuously and actively love someone: in full knowledge of the person's current imperfection and recognizing that he/she is changing and growing everyday - just as you are. That, sometimes, it means bumping heads and screaming battles. And, still, you choose to stay.
How do you explain that love has many forms, each one fulfilling in its own unique way? And that everyone is capable to give and receive love in all forms? That his kisses and hugs, given so thoughtlessly and generously, can fill my love tank to overflowing. That, sometimes, not being married means I am free to love more.
2nd Reading: 1st Corinthians 7:32-35
32 I should like you to have your minds free from all worry. The unmarried man gives his mind to the Lord's affairs and to how he can please the Lord;
33 but the man who is married gives his mind to the affairs of this world and to how he can please his wife, and he is divided in mind.
34 So, too, the unmarried woman, and the virgin, gives her mind to the Lord's affairs and to being holy in body and spirit; but the married woman gives her mind to the affairs of this world and to how she can please her husband.
35 I am saying this only to help you, not to put a bridle on you, but so that everything is as it should be, and you are able to give your undivided attention to the Lord.
Perhaps one day, when he is much older (with a much longer attention span), I will sit him down beside me and talk about this. But, for now, I will need more experience to further refine my answer/s.
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