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Monday, April 30, 2018

Graduation: The End of Our Homeschooling Journey

Four years ago I made the difficult decision to homeschool my son.  Considering I am a full-time working single mom, it was a leap of faith.

THE DECISION

A couple of years before that, my son's ADHD was confirmed and formally diagnosed by his Developmental Pediatrician.  By then he was already enrolled in a big school, and, while he integrated successfully in preschool, he had difficulty coping with the multiple changes once he started in 1st Grade.  My attempts at getting the teachers onboarded on the right techniques only managed to "brand" my son.  It was a painful year for me and especially for my son, whose psoriasis manifested prematurely (the doctor's earliest case in all her years of practice) due to the stress.

The following school year I enrolled him in a smaller population school with a SPED (Special Education) program.  It was definitely more successful than the traditional school.  However, I noticed that my son was getting by on his lessons by looking at patterns (i.e. common nouns have small letters and proper nouns use capital letters) when answering his quizzes, but was not really understanding the concepts.  I found myself redoing the lessons, coming up with creative ways to teach him his lessons, right before the quarterly exams --- which was stressful for both of us. During a particularly long ranting session, my sister pointed out, "Ate, you do realize you're practically homeschooling your son, right?"

So ... I filed for a 3-month sabbatical and prepared to homeschool my son.

THE UPS AND DOWNS

Three months into homeschooling, there was marked improvement in my son's behavior and his psoriasis disappeared.  He was greatly enjoying our sessions, looking forward to them each day; while I felt a sense of fulfillment knowing that I am able to teach his lessons in his "language" and to spend good quality time with him.  The whole world was our classroom and every moment was a potential learning experience.  It was fun coming up with the materials and integrating lessons from different subjects.  I basked in my son's daily affirmations, "You are the best teacher ever, Mom!"

When my sabbatical ended, though, it became a huge challenge juggling homeschool, work and business trips.  I requested for a Europe shift role, so that I can schedule homeschool sessions in the morning and leave him with activities for the afternoon.  This meant I had to check his work in the weekends and utilize it for repeating lessons he did not fully / correctly comprehend.  And that is just the regular days.

Business trips were a killer.  Schedules required me to be out for 10 days to two weeks at a time, so I had to prepare lessons and materials before my trip.  In 3rd and 4th grade, that meant preparing hand-drawn activity sheets, putting post-it markers on book pages, printing the schedule and hoping & praying to God that he can complete on his own.  It was hit or miss ... mostly, miss.  When I got back from business trips, we would typically have to double time on the lessons.

During 5th and 6th grade, we already had our rhythm and my son could (most of the time) follow his schedule on his own.  My new role was also more flexible and my managers (God bless them!) were very supportive, finding ways to make business trips work with homeschool schedules.  I am also grateful for the wonderful gifts of technology.  Before every flight out, I prepared his lessons, got materials from the internet (videos, graphics, interactive exercises and worksheets) and sent these to my sister, who sent these to my son on the lesson day itself.  (It must be said, that my sister vastly contributed to the success of our homeschooling journey, being my co-parent, emotional punching bag, voice of reason and sermon alternate through the years).

THE END

Late last year, my son was also diagnosed with Aspergers (in the high-functioning Autism Spectrum) which had become more pronounced and apparent due to the onset of puberty.  This was the explanation for his social awkwardness, which sometimes meant unacceptable social behavior. His DevPed recommended for him to go to a Progressive school (on top of taking social skills classes) so that he gets more social exposure in a controlled yet more open environment.  And, while I was a bit apprehensive, I knew that it is the right direction for my son.

THE CATHOLIC FILIPINO ACADEMY

For the four years that I had been homeschooling my son, CFA (Catholic Filipino Academy / Barcelona Academy), our homeschool provider, also grew with me.  I appreciate the flexibility to support a single homeschooling mom like myself.  The constant feedback process and regular dialogue helped enable a better homeschooling journey for us.  The past couple of years, particularly, brought about huge improvements in the school's lessons and exams structure, activity scheduling, parents:parent-coach support system, parent equipping workshops, and Monday and Friday clubs.

In fact, it is bittersweet that our final year was our best year yet in CFA.  The South Monday clubs paved the way to forge meaningful friendships, not just for my son but also for me.  While my son attended various clubs, I hung out with parents who, I found, share the same values and principles I have.  Conversations with them served as a good break and, also, soulfood for me.

THE GRADUATION

The day before the graduation, we had our final practice and reminders at our homeschool headquarters.  This was the only time the Philippine chapter of the batch was ever complete and they were a LOT.  It was crunch time once again and we did not have the presentation buttoned down yet.  But, with parents and children pulling together, we were able to complete the practice and smooth out the rough edges in just three hours (even though we changed the positions and transitions a million times).

When the kids presented on stage the following day, it looked as if they practiced for weeks.  It was beautifully perfect!  There was a short skit and a final song, "Flashlight". The meaning of the words and the powerfully emotional rendition of the children tugged at my heartstrings.  If I wasn't manning the lights, I probably would have been bawling over.

After the ceremonies, the 6th graders trooped to the photo booth and gladly posed for the proud parents.  It was easily a 30-minute exercise with the kids doing different poses with their white togas and their formal clothes.

I stood on one side, allowing my son to squeeze as much fun and good memories out of this moment.


This was it, the culmination of all the years of relearning old lessons, sleepless nights, endless time outs (both parent and child), tears and scream-till-my-voice-is-hoarse moments.  Also, it is the end of a beautiful chapter of shared failures and triumphs, that strengthened not just our characters but also our relationship.  As my homeschooling mommy friend aptly said, "These are golden times", that I will forever keep in the treasure store of my heart.

To those of you thinking of homeschooling, go for it!  I promise you, it will be some of the best (uhm ... with a few bad days in between) years of your life with your children.








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