"Do Not Let Your Heart Die"

For Monsignor Manny Gabriel's birthday, Fr. D (I did not quite catch his name) was tasked to give the homily.  He started off with a quote from "The Breakfast Club":

"When you grow up, your heart dies."—Allison

Then he proceeded with an eloquent testimony to Monsi Manny's life of selfless service and love ... which I would very much want to get a copy of, but only managed to capture a few rough snippets.

• Do not let your heart die.
• Despite all the pain and difficulties, he maintained a heart willing to forgive and ready to love again.
• We are plagued with fear of darkness and of the unknown.  Have the child-like faith to plunge forward.
• Have the courage to face both the lights and shadows of life.
• Marry the old and the young ... grow old in years and wisdom, but remain young at heart and in faith.

Immediately after Mass, one of my BFF's came upon a nice quote and tagged me. Lo! and behold, it spoke of fear and forgiveness.  I was beginning to see a trend here.

I realized, that one of the things which distinguish children from adults is their lack of sense of danger.  They are FEARLESS.  Of course!, you say.  As we grow older, we gain knowledge about a lot of things and we come to depend upon that knowledge - even though we know how limited it is . Then our faith dwindles and paranoia sets in. This inevitably limits us ... because, at some point, we stop believing. When we stop believing, the miracles stop ... or we stop seeing the miracles.  We lose that sense of awe and wonder which gives us the courage to take leaps of faith.  When we are unable to take leaps of faith, we miss out on the chance to feel the rush of falling and the exhilaration of flying --- which pump the heart.

It is not growing up that kills the heart.  It's losing faith.

PS:
Forgiving, by the way,  is a leap of faith ... as is any form of letting go.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuX-ls_GR54

Bigger Bear Series: Delays are Blessings in Disguise

Whenever my heart is troubled or my brain starts working on hyper mode, I have but one solution:  Go to Mass.  Maybe two.  I go to the Blessed Sacrament as well.

From the beginning of this week it was not just troubled heart or hyper brain. It was troubled heart AND hyper brain.  I was officially petrified (like Ginny Weasley petrified in front of a basilisk) and my defenses naturally whisked me into my internal Panic Room.

So, I had to go to Mass.

But, first, I was hungry.  I looked over at my sister, busily working on her laptop beside me and said, "Want to grab merienda with me?"  She wanted a burger, a McDonald's burger.  So, the plan was for us to go to McDonald's and then I'll drop them back home before I go to Mass.

On our way out, we were detained by the mother.  As a result, I had no choice but to take them with me to Mass. When we entered the church, we noticed that the place was abuzz with much activity.  At the entrance stood, not one, but ten (10!) priests.  It was our parish priest's birthday celebration and he was concelebrating with his priest friends.

The homily was a witnessing to our parish priest's life of service and love.  But it was organized and articulated in a way that makes it relevant to everyone.

My sister, A and I were immensely blessed by it.  I was happy that I got to attend the Mass with two important people in my life.  And all because we were kept at home longer by our mom.

Reflection on Readings: When A Cloud Hangs Overhead

36 Whenever the cloud rose from the Dwelling, the children of Israel would set out on their journey. 37 But if the cloud did not lift, they would not go forward; only when it lifted did they go forward. 38 In the daytime the cloud of the Lord was seen over the Dwelling; whereas at night, fire was seen in the cloud by the whole house of Israel in all the stages of their journey.

(From today's 1st Reading:  Exodus 40:16-21, 34-38)


Clouds have always been associated with sadness, trouble, uncertainty and doubt.  When one says, "I feel a cloud hanging over me", it usually means the person has a heavy heart.  Clouds aren't good.

In today's first reading, the cloud guided "the whole house of Israel in all the stages of their journey".  I realized, throughout my life I had wanted immediate answers to my questions;  demanded quick directions --- because I wanted to reach my goals immediately; or (ever since I said I am giving in to God's will) fulfill God's plans for me ASAP.  Clouds and shadows-of-doubt unsettled me --- because these, for me, caused unnecessary delays.  And I tortured myself incessantly for my inability to read the signs and decipher God's will.  

I failed to realize that, while I have finally succeeded (sort of) in following God's directions, I have not yet fully surrendered to God's timing.  Like the Israelites, I need to find peace in stopping and resting until the cloud lifts and the way forward is clearly revealed.  When a cloud hangs overhead, it does not necessarily mean there's trouble or you've lost your way.  Sometimes it simply means, "Wait for further instructions".

And She Treasured All These in Her Heart

There are very few Bible verses on Mama Mary.  Of those few, a couple of them say, "His mother treasured all these things in her heart."  Or "She pondered on these in her heart".

At first, I thought, she had to ponder on all of these things because she never fully understood everything at the onset.  To treasure these things in her heart was another way of saying the same thing.  But, a few days ago, it hit me ... these verses are entirely different.

"She treasured all these things in her heart" because ---

1. Then was not the time to reveal who Jesus is.
2. She knew that Jesus was entrusted to her and Joseph in order to prepare Him for His mission. He will only be with her for a few years.
3. It is the daily insignificant moments, the seemingly trivial gestures (like God the Son being obedient to a lowly human mother) of people we love and who love us, that make the heart smile.  These moments are the ones we keep secret and guard jealously within the deepest recesses of our hearts.  These are the moments we go back to for strength, faith, hope and love.

Not much was revealed about Jesus' growing years;  only the important ones.  The rest were written off  as"lost years".  But they were not lost ... merely private treasures kept in His mother's heart.