36 Whenever the cloud rose
from the Dwelling, the children of Israel would set out on their journey. 37 But if the cloud did not
lift, they would not go forward; only when it lifted did they go forward. 38 In the daytime the cloud of
the Lord was seen over the Dwelling; whereas at night, fire was seen in the
cloud by the whole house of Israel in all the stages of their journey.
(From today's 1st Reading: Exodus 40:16-21, 34-38)
Clouds have always been associated with sadness, trouble, uncertainty and doubt. When one says, "I feel a cloud hanging over me", it usually means the person has a heavy heart. Clouds aren't good.
In today's first reading, the cloud guided "the whole house of Israel in all the stages of their journey". I realized, throughout my life I had wanted immediate answers to my questions; demanded quick directions --- because I wanted to reach my goals immediately; or (ever since I said I am giving in to God's will) fulfill God's plans for me ASAP. Clouds and shadows-of-doubt unsettled me --- because these, for me, caused unnecessary delays. And I tortured myself incessantly for my inability to read the signs and decipher God's will.
I failed to realize that, while I have finally succeeded (sort of) in following God's directions, I have not yet fully surrendered to God's timing. Like the Israelites, I need to find peace in stopping and resting until the cloud lifts and the way forward is clearly revealed. When a cloud hangs overhead, it does not necessarily mean there's trouble or you've lost your way. Sometimes it simply means, "Wait for further instructions".
(From today's 1st Reading: Exodus 40:16-21, 34-38)
Clouds have always been associated with sadness, trouble, uncertainty and doubt. When one says, "I feel a cloud hanging over me", it usually means the person has a heavy heart. Clouds aren't good.
In today's first reading, the cloud guided "the whole house of Israel in all the stages of their journey". I realized, throughout my life I had wanted immediate answers to my questions; demanded quick directions --- because I wanted to reach my goals immediately; or (ever since I said I am giving in to God's will) fulfill God's plans for me ASAP. Clouds and shadows-of-doubt unsettled me --- because these, for me, caused unnecessary delays. And I tortured myself incessantly for my inability to read the signs and decipher God's will.
I failed to realize that, while I have finally succeeded (sort of) in following God's directions, I have not yet fully surrendered to God's timing. Like the Israelites, I need to find peace in stopping and resting until the cloud lifts and the way forward is clearly revealed. When a cloud hangs overhead, it does not necessarily mean there's trouble or you've lost your way. Sometimes it simply means, "Wait for further instructions".
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