Lenten Series: Mar 15

I once left the house for the office seething in anger at my son, who seemed to be bouncing off the walls so early in the morning and doing everything else except obeying me. I got into the car heaving ... and then this song came on ... and I cried.

"Fall Apart Today" (Schuyler Fisk)
"I don't want us | to fall apart today or ever | You're the one who said | you'd never leave | There's no good reason for | giving up | All this mess is just bad luck | So please don't lose your | confidence in me | I wish I wasn't so fragile | cause I know that I'm not | easy to handle | Oh baby please | Don't forget you love me | Don't forget you love me | today | I don't wanna feel like this | But I'm so tired of missing you | I don't wanna beg for your time | I want you mine, all mine"

At that time, it felt like A singing it to me. Just now, I realized, it is my unspoken plea to God the Father everytime I got off the wagon and committed any of my favorite sins --- the ones that almost feel like an addiction and I seem powerful against; the ones that make me feel like crap one second after the deed. Nothing like those moments to make me feel so unworthy of His love and favor.
The thing is, what parent measures his/her child's worthiness before loving him or giving him what he needs??? E X A C T L Y!!! God loves us simply because He does. We never earned anything He has given us - certainly not His love because He loved us into being. And He continues to pour out His graces upon us (if we want them) because that love never changes regardless of what we've done and how many times we've done them.
He never forgets that He loves us. Thus, nothing can stop His plans for us from unfolding (in fact, they are currently unfolding as they should right this very minute), not even our constant failings / shortcomings.

From 2nd Reading - Ephesians 2:4-10
"For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not from you; it is the gift of God: it is not from works, so no one may boast. For we are his handiwork, created in Christ Jesus for the good works that God has prepared in advance, that we should live in them."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTm7MrDkyCs