Lenten Series: Mar 5

Today was an epic fail on several counts and I truly felt unworthy to post my Lenten reflections. How could I - when I allowed myself to stress over my unmet deadlines (most of them I've set for myself) instead of: (1) Trusting God; (2) Tapping into His graces to supplement my lack; and (3) Doing the loving thing to do. But to skip this would be a misrepresentation of reality. Because the truth is, as my son said (during this morning's prayer time), "Doing the right thing is hard ... and it takes time ... But I keep trying, Mama".
Realizing that I failed to practice my learnings (even when I was already explicitly called out), I was so tempted to stay slumped, 'killing' myself -- over and over again. I felt so embarrassed and, at the same time, scared (or, maybe, too proud) to face Him. But, for all my mind's and my heart's complexities, only He can truly sort through the layers and understand what is at the core ... and forgive me. So ... I should have the courage to forgive myself, too. Stand up, brush myself off and try again ... and again and again.

Whenever I feel particularly weary, I pray-listen to "Breath of Heaven (Mary's Prayer)":
"I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now, be with me now
Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy"

1st Reading Intro:
"Our faith depends on our trust in the Lord. When we doubt, our trust in God will help us conquer these doubts. It is very important that we deepen our trust in Him by growing in the virtue of hope. Hope is grounded in our experience of God's love and mercy."

1st Reading - Jeremiah 17:5-10:
"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose hope is the Lord. He is like a tree planted beside the waters that stretches out its roots to the stream: It fears not the heat when it comes, its leaves stay green; in the year of drought it shows no distress, but still bears fruit. More tortuous than all else is the human heart, beyond remedy; who can understand it? I, the Lord, alone probe the mind and test the heart, to reward everyone according to his ways, according to the merit of his deeds."

Psalm 1:1-2, 3, 4-6:
"He is like a tree planted near running water, that yields its fruit in due season, and whose leaves never fade."