Lenten Series: Mar 3

I hate my PMS days, especially the heightened emotions that snip off my patience string and leave me with just a sliver of it. Awareness is key and it does help me manage it. Often, though, I've already managed to 'kill' someone or (on good days) am in the process of 'killing' someone by the time I realize it. At that point (especially when the 'victim' is my son), I have to do a quick mental debate to keep my dignity (fine, pride!) or own up to it and apologize right there and then. After all that, though, I go to a quiet corner in my head and 'kill' myself - over and over and over again. I extra 'kill' myself when I realize that God had sent me a warning prior to the incident. He does that a lot. Which brings me to my point.
As my son pointed out, "We are demigods, like Percy, Mama ... because we are God's children". We are part human and inherently given to sin. But we are also part Divine, equipped with no less than the Holy Spirit. If we try to change ourselves, relying on our own capabilities, we won't get anywhere. But, if we tap into the power within us and obey that inner voice, we'll get there. In a forward-forward-backward cycle, yes. But, add it all up, it's still progress.
Let us be patient with and not give up on ourselves --- because He won't.

Tonight, in the car, totally out of the blue:
A: "You know, Mama, in Percy Jackson, XXX (some character I forget) said, 'You have to follow your heart or all will be lost.' "
Me: "And why did you think about that now?"
A: "It's in the Gospel also (I nod as he looks at me). Follow your heart, Mama, or you will get lost."

From today's 1st Reading - Isaiah 1:10, 16-20:
"Wash yourselves clean! Put away your misdeeds from before my eyes; cease doing evil; learn to do good ...
Come now, let US (you+God!) set things right, says the Lord. Though your sins be like scarlet, they may become white as snow; though they may be crimson red, they may become white as wool. If you are willing, and obey, you shall eat the good things of the land; But if you refuse and resist, the sword shall consume you ..."