"or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;" - ee cummings
I know of waiting and believing ... with hope and in faith. And it seems all I had been doing all these years. Thus, it is only human that my heart should grow weary and shut - in quiet and final acceptance. I had been moving towards this resolution slowly and painfully these past months. When Advent rolled in, I raised the inevitable white flag in complete surrender to whatever He has in store for me. No kicking or thrashing anymore.
Imagine my surprise when the response came back kicking and thrashing!
Saturday with the S-Crew. I will save everyone the boring details, but, suffice it to say that the general message - to me, specifically - was: Believe!
Sunday Misa de Gallo:
"Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled." (Luke 1:45)
Monday Misa de Gallo:
"Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled." (Luke 1:45)
Wait! What?!
Yes, exactly the same Gospel for 2 days - in a row. The priest likened this to parents who repeatedly tell their children to eat their vegetables. We repeat things that are important but difficult to follow. (But can you blame me?!)
Tuesday Misa de Gallo: (my favorite - song of Mary!)
"My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord; my spirit rejoices in God my savior. For he has looked upon his lowly servant. From this day all generations will call me blessed; the Almight has done great things for me, and holy is his Name." (Luke 1:46-49)
When the heart closes with absolute certainty, it takes more than simple repeated knocking to open it.
This verse did the trick. For years, this has been my love song; a secret promise I hang on to for the fulfillment of my heart's deepest desires ... 3 in all.
It felt like He sang it to me, cooing ... and effectively persuaded the little girl to open the door once again to an onslaught of childhood and grownup monsters.
Wednesday 1st Reading:
"... and suddenly there will come to the temple the Lord whom you seek, and the messenger of the covenant whom you desire. Yes, he is coming, says the Lord of hosts." (Malachi 3:1)
Since Sunday I had no other communion prayer except for the graces to believe in and be open to His love ... to find once again the reason to continue singing the Magnificat.
(And, as if to underline His message, Hillsong's "You'll Come" starts playing just as I complete the post!)
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;" - ee cummings
I know of waiting and believing ... with hope and in faith. And it seems all I had been doing all these years. Thus, it is only human that my heart should grow weary and shut - in quiet and final acceptance. I had been moving towards this resolution slowly and painfully these past months. When Advent rolled in, I raised the inevitable white flag in complete surrender to whatever He has in store for me. No kicking or thrashing anymore.
Imagine my surprise when the response came back kicking and thrashing!
Saturday with the S-Crew. I will save everyone the boring details, but, suffice it to say that the general message - to me, specifically - was: Believe!
Sunday Misa de Gallo:
"Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled." (Luke 1:45)
Monday Misa de Gallo:
"Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled." (Luke 1:45)
Wait! What?!
Yes, exactly the same Gospel for 2 days - in a row. The priest likened this to parents who repeatedly tell their children to eat their vegetables. We repeat things that are important but difficult to follow. (But can you blame me?!)
Tuesday Misa de Gallo: (my favorite - song of Mary!)
"My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord; my spirit rejoices in God my savior. For he has looked upon his lowly servant. From this day all generations will call me blessed; the Almight has done great things for me, and holy is his Name." (Luke 1:46-49)
When the heart closes with absolute certainty, it takes more than simple repeated knocking to open it.
This verse did the trick. For years, this has been my love song; a secret promise I hang on to for the fulfillment of my heart's deepest desires ... 3 in all.
It felt like He sang it to me, cooing ... and effectively persuaded the little girl to open the door once again to an onslaught of childhood and grownup monsters.
Wednesday 1st Reading:
"... and suddenly there will come to the temple the Lord whom you seek, and the messenger of the covenant whom you desire. Yes, he is coming, says the Lord of hosts." (Malachi 3:1)
Since Sunday I had no other communion prayer except for the graces to believe in and be open to His love ... to find once again the reason to continue singing the Magnificat.
(And, as if to underline His message, Hillsong's "You'll Come" starts playing just as I complete the post!)
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