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Wednesday, February 28, 2018

CFA Family Camp Real Love

I always maintained, that God is the best PA (Personal Assistant). He always manages to untangle my busy schedule such that meetings, functions and events just sort themselves out.  No fail.

February, though, felt as if it would put God's PA skills to the test.  It started with a call from my beloved manager that I had to go to Germany for a week.  Suddenly, my already full schedule just spilled over with this trip and another workshop I had to host in Manila as soon as I was back.

I quickly checked the CFA Homeschool calendar and breathed a sigh of relief.  Family Camp is slated for the Friday when I get back.  Good!  I just had to squeeze the workshop schedule, so that we close it on Thursday.  The schedule worked out, but it looked like I'd be crawling by Feb-end.

Thursday rolls in and we barely closed out everything we had to cover for the workshop.  The next thing I knew, it was already Friday midnight and I hadn't packed for camping.  I finally plopped onto bed at half past 2 am and, in a blink, my alarm was going off already.  We had to leave by 5:30 in order to be at the venue by the 7 am call time.

I ambled towards my son's room and knocked on his door.  He took one look at me and said, "Mom, what time did you sleep?"

"2, I think", I replied groggily.

It took him just half a second to say, "It's okay if we don't go, Mom.  Maybe you should just sleep.  You didn't sleep much all week."  I wanted to cry, marveling at the realization that my son would give up his favorite school activity, so that I could catch up on my sleep.

As tempting as the offer was, I knew I couldn't let him miss out on Family Camp.  We agreed, instead, to show up an hour late, so that I could get in a bit more sleep.  It was a long drive and I couldn't risk falling asleep on the wheel.

When we got to Quest Adventure Camp in Antipolo, we were happy to find out that we only missed breakfast and were right on time for setting up tent.  As we were late, the only available parking space was quite a walk from our camp grounds.  But God, as always, sends help when we need it the most. One of the camp personnel was passing by our car as we were unloading and offered to help carry some of our stuff.  He went the extra mile and even helped set up our tent!

After that, we threw ourselves into the flurry of activities.  But, by the time we concluded Mass at 3 pm, I was cross-eyed with sleep and I had to bail out on the rest of the afternoon activities.  Thankfully, my almost-teenager son no longer needed much supervision and I was confident that there were many watchful parents' eyes to cover for me.  And, apparently, I wasn't the only one who thought so.  I overheard one of the kids asking permission, "Dad, can I go to the rope course with my friends?  I saw some parents watching over small kids, so there will be adults".

The beauty of being part of the CFA Homeschooling family is it is exactly that:  Family.  I realized, then, how appropriate the theme, "Real Love", is.  We belong to a community with the same set of values and principles; and, while we value academics, there is sufficient focus in enfolding Love in everything we did, especially in homeschooling.

Needless to say, I spent the rest of the afternoon catching up on 2 weeks' worth of inadequate sleep,  while the rest of the overnight camp generally followed the pattern of God showing me some "Real Love".  It felt almost like a retreat for me.


  • Before dinner, I found myself in an impromptu counseling session with one of the more senior mommies, Tita Lisa - who reminded me the importance of self-love and taking care of my health.
  • During campfire worship, my son looked for me specifically to give me a hug.  And, knowing how much I enjoy stargazing, he said, "Look up, Mom.  Do you see all those stars?" It struck me because "Look up" was a phrase I equated to lifting up my worries to God.  I looked up and realized how I had unnecessarily magnified my truly minuscule concerns / troubles.
  • In the morning, Tita Mayette (one of our school officials) approached me to ask how things were (on hindsight, I must have looked like a mess!) AND prayed over me. Before standing up, she said, "You can always call us, if you need some extra support". (sniff!).
  • Even breaking camp together became a bonding activity without a whisper of grumbling from my son, who I had to pull away from his friends for a few minutes. I remember another mommy who told me once, "You're brave to go to camp without a male companion to help you. It's so hard setting up camp!" But my son and I managed fine.  "There! We did it by ourselves, Mom!" (High five!).
  • For the closing activity, my son handed me his camp letter and a rose, mischievously greeting me "Happy Valentine's, Mom!" (Hahaha!). The letter, though, turned me to mush.
The Camp Letter (excuse the grammar)

Dear Mom,

Thank you for bringing me to Camp even if you're tired and haven't slept for days po.  I'm very happy that we went together to camp.  I'm very grateful that you enrolled me and taught me everything you can to help and go through life alone.  I've been so grateful for things you've done for me.  Mom, thank you for taking care of me since when I was still young.  I thank God for giving me such an extraordinary funny mom.  Thank you, Mom.
Love, A

We were one of the last families who left the venue, letting the kids enjoy their time together until the very last minute.  We squeezed as much as we could out of the camping activity, for sure.  And we went home on a high, our Love tanks sufficiently filled with "Real Love".

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Poetic Dose: 54 to 57

#365daysofpoetry Days 54 to 57


Quest Adventure Camp, Antipolo

Pondering you
In a limitless sky
When you show just half
And my heart is full.
















Quest Adventure Camp, Antipolo



Shine on me
Wrap me in your warmth
Shelter me
In the openness of your love.
















In the darkest of nights
When I feel most alone
I feel the beating of your hearts
Guiding me surely home.
















Art By:  Paul C. Balan

For there is no fated One
The saviour who will save us all
There is just us
Each one of us
Child of Luzviminda
Rightful heir of all above, under and around
If we will not protect this country and its people,
Then who will?

Friday, February 23, 2018

Poetic Dose: Hump Week/s

#365daysofpoetry Days 47 to 53

It's been a very toxic past couple of weeks.  Hopefully, this weekend serves as a brief respite.
At Romerberg, Germany

because, for all its beauty
the novelty of its charm
my heart is not as full ---
nor whole ---
as when I am with you.


Art By Ang Kiukok
Sky
There is so much sky
Cotton candy white
Pouring out of endless blue
When all is cold and out of skew
I thank God for the warm soul of you
Bringing me just a bit closer
To the arms I want to burrow in.











Art by Ina Inadoodles Nolasco


Squeeze hug
And sloppy kisses
Perfect cures
For the weary soul.














Art by Ang Kiukok

Oh, these days!
When there are not enough secounds
The moon gives way to the sun
Much too quicker than my breath
And there is not enough of me
To do all my master's biddings
What spell is there
That can freeze Time?
Will God answer in haste
The prayer of a lowly creature as I am?

(And, in the end, where is the Why in all of these?)











Art by Inadoodles


This, too, shall pass,
I say
As I crawl towards Feb's end
Into March's faint light
Saving each tiny breath
Mustering my remaining strength
Let this not be
The slow death of me.














When I am overwhelmed
I tug at His helm;
I ask to be lifted
And then all is well again.


Garden Design by Jerry Araos



i close my eyes for five deep breaths ...

first, the whisper of the breeze
then the rustling of the trees
as their green emerge
with the scent of damp ground
and, finally, the still glass waters
occasionally disturbed by dragonflies.








Friday, February 16, 2018

Poetic Dose: Germany

#365daysofpoetry Days 42 to 46








This will have to do

For Day forty-two.















And I thought to myself,
Flowers rushing towards the forest
As if wanting to be part of it

I wondered then,
What lies beneath this canopy
That even flowers clamor to see?

















Aaachoo!
Oh, shoots!
Damn this runny nose
No verse nor prose
Just a few zzzzzzs
For Day 44 that breezed.















No Mass for me
This Ash Wednesday
Just a glimpse of a church
And a silent prayer.














The square is empty
Yet it is not
What do you see?
Do you see them too?
Are they soldiers on guard, or
Winter solstice worshippers?
No, no! I see dancers
Gaily dancing on Mardi Gras.





Sunday, February 11, 2018

Poetic Dose 39, 40, 41

#365daysofpoetry Days 39(ish) to 41







Cheating here just a bit
Yesterday was just hectic
So, for Day 39
On the 40th, I write.











Masungi GeoReserve

For there is no reason
What for is the waiting
When eyes have grown dim
And black have turned to silver
To sit under the same blue sky
Sipping coffee or lemonade
Looking out into a vibrant garden
Running into a bed of lush mountains.

What for is the waiting?
There is no reason.
None.
Only the illusion of busy.





Art By: Lyra Garcellano

A week of overlapping days
Just gone by in a haze
But if I rest here for just a second
Shall I regain a bit of my life that has gone?


Thursday, February 08, 2018

Poetic Dose: How to Grow Mountains / Lead Me Home

#365daysofpoetry Days 37 & 38

Masungi GeoReserve

How to Grow Mountains

For every little thing
Adds up to something great
And what once was beneath
Can rise up in magnificence
For a constantly stumbling human
There is an endlessly patient God
Indeed, Time is short


But it is also eternal.





Lead Me Home

Light my path
Lead me home
Give me strength
To keep the faith
I walk through this tunnel
 Into your waiting arms.

Tuesday, February 06, 2018

Poetic Dose: Excited / Happy Tired / Greatness

#365daysofpoetry Days 34, 35 & 36


Painting By:  BenCab

i should sleep
i cannot sleep
if i do,
will tomorrow leave me slumbering?
if so, then ...
sleep, forsake me please!
in just a few hours
i will rise before the Sun.











At the Masungi Geo Reserve



Sore body
Sun-kissed nose
Full heart
Blessed soul














Sculpture By:  Luis Ac-ac










She hides behind her veil
And speaks not a word
But with each passing second
Her soul slowly shines through
For Greatness cannot be tamed
In due time, it always reveals itself.

Saturday, February 03, 2018

Reflection on Readings: Kids Say The Darndest Things

I like having my niece and nephew over.  Their chaotic presence demand my full attention, which is often a much-needed distraction from my list of  to-dos and big and petty worries.

A couple of weeks ago, they stayed over for the weekend.  I missed them so much, I brought them out on a road trip to BGC (Bonifacio Global City) where I work.  But, more importantly, where our favorite ice cream shop is located.  It was much like any day out with them with all their crazy antics and, before we knew it, it was time to go home.

On the drive home, though, my son showed my nephew my photo from our high-school reunion.  My nephew gasped (in awe and mild surprise), "Wow! Ninang, you look so beautiful!  Why don't you have a husband?  Nobody fell inlove with you?  Why?!" In one breath. (Kids say the darndest things ... and they always manage to throw it at you like a curve ball).  To which my son, my knight in shining armor (bless his heart), promptly replied, "I'm inlove with her!" 

I looked at my son in the rear view mirror and just smiled.  "We both know that's not what he meant.  It's okay." My nephew, sensing how my son switched to defense mode, decided to let it go. "I love your car, Ninang".

The rest of the way I kept thinking:  How do you explain love in the context of marriage to a five-year old? 

How do you explain, that falling or being inlove is different from loving?  And that people who fall inlove sometimes just fall out of love?

How do you explain, that the role of beauty in an honest and loving relationship is overrated?  That, while beauty makes one stop to look, it is not what makes one stay?

How do you explain that falling inlove with someone is never the reason to get married?  That marriage is the decision to continuously and actively love someone: in full knowledge of the person's current imperfection and recognizing that he/she is changing and growing everyday - just as you are. That, sometimes, it means bumping heads and screaming battles.  And, still, you choose to stay.

How do you explain that love has many forms, each one fulfilling in its own unique way?  And that everyone is capable to give and receive love in all forms?  That his kisses and hugs, given so thoughtlessly and generously, can fill my love tank to overflowing.  That, sometimes, not being married means I am free to love more.

2nd Reading:  1st Corinthians 7:32-35

32 I should like you to have your minds free from all worry. The unmarried man gives his mind to the Lord's affairs and to how he can please the Lord;
33 but the man who is married gives his mind to the affairs of this world and to how he can please his wife, and he is divided in mind.
34 So, too, the unmarried woman, and the virgin, gives her mind to the Lord's affairs and to being holy in body and spirit; but the married woman gives her mind to the affairs of this world and to how she can please her husband.
35 I am saying this only to help you, not to put a bridle on you, but so that everything is as it should be, and you are able to give your undivided attention to the Lord.

Perhaps one day, when he is much older (with a much longer attention span), I will sit him down beside me and talk about this.  But, for now, I will need more experience to further refine my answer/s.

Poetic Dose: Love Transcends

#365dayofpoetry Day 33
Sabel by BenCab

Hush, my heart, hush
Calm my trembling soul

I feel the void growing
Powerless to cease it
I fear it turn to a blackhole
My life slowly fading in it

Hush, my heart, hush
Calm my trembling soul

For there is no loss in death
Merely transformation
Love once felt by senses
Now love that transcends being

Hush, my heart, hush
I pray, her soul my Lord to keep
Ever near me
And cradle me to sleep.

(For my friends who have lost their mothers or important women in their lives)

Friday, February 02, 2018

Pondering Motherhood

#365daysofpoetry Day 32

Today is Thursday.  Math day.  Typically the day when Monster Mom comes out to play.

Yet, after a full day of juggling work and Math coaching (mixed with affirmations and a good bit of exasperation), my son tiredly declares, "My answer's correct, Mom" and then, "I think it was a good day.  We finished a lot and I was able to do PBR (Percentage, Base, Rate) on my own. Thanks, Mom." (Tear) We only managed to finish the review and not the actual new lesson I scheduled for today.  But you just have to count your blessings.

Having a child is a double-edged sword: a source of stress and stress-relief;  extremely challenging and immensely fulfilling at the same time.  I realized that early on as I traversed the road of motherhood (a role, I think, I take too seriously for my sanity's own good) and even more when I decided to homeschool.  The responsibility to bring up my son into a God-fearing, loving, Earth-conscious and useful member of society is both a blessing and a burden.  It requires me to always be on my toes in terms of how I act, how I speak or even think; the decisions (especially the split-decisions) and choices I make.  Moreso the choices, as these do not affect just myself, but also my son.  (And I refuse to blame this for my singlehood. If anything, having my son forced me to be more thoughtful and to make wiser decisions.  Heck! He just probably saved me from a bad marriage).  That is why, when I saw this Ivatan artwork over the internet (Thanks to #jotarofootsteps for stopping by the art shop and finding this) , I was drawn to it.  It is a perfect representation of my sentiment as a mother.

Yaru nu Artes Ivatan

That I may be ...
Your shelter against all storms,
Your source of comfort in difficult times,
And your strength at your weakest.

That I may ...
Be firm on values and principles (your Life compass), 
Have the courage to stand for them (for your sake),
And find the strength to discipline (when needed).

That you may ...
Know always in your heart
Everything I do 
I do out of love for you.

That I may be, to you, 
God's loving presence in this life.

Thursday, February 01, 2018

Poetic Dose: So much to do / Stomped / Bella Luna

#365daysofpoetry Days 29, 30 & 31


so much to do
so little time
my list of to-dos
is a mountain to climb
a thousand thoughts in a queue
spilling out of my tiny mind
i scramble to pick one or two
but "goodbye" together they chime
oh, well not much i can do
let tomorrow wait for now it's bedtime.










what to write
when the brain is cramped
too many thoughts ... sigh!
tonight, i'm honestly stomped.


















My Bella Luna
At its rising
Majestic, always
You take my breath away

How many pledges of love have you witnessed?
How many still remain true?

While I, in solitary, enthralled
Pledge my love to only you
Night after night
As I gave upon you, forever unknowing.