Reflection on Readings: Just Do It!

Last Sunday's readings are both beautiful and embarrassing. Beautiful, because God laid out His desires in a simple and straightforward (read:  idiot-proof) manner.  Beautiful, because He also reassured us that He's got this - everything is in His hands. Embarrassing, because it's so simple it's embarrassing that He had to spell it out for us.

Gospel
Luke 10:25-37
"There was a scholar of the law who stood up to test Jesus and said, “Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus said to him, “What is written in the law? How do you read it?” He said in reply, “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your being, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” He replied to him, “You have answered correctly; do this and you will live.”

1st Reading
Deuteronomy 30:10-14
"Moses said to the people: If only you would heed the voice of the Lord, your God, and keep his commandments and statutes that are written in this book of the law, when you return to the Lord, your God, with all your heart and all your soul.  For this command that I enjoin on you today is not too mysterious and remote for you. It is not up in the sky, that you should say, ‘Who will go up in the sky to get it for us and tell us of it, that we may carry it out?’ Nor is it across the sea, that you should say, ‘Who will cross the sea to get it for us and tell us of it, that we may carry it out?’No, it is something very near to you, already in your mouths and in your hearts; you have only to carry it out.”

In both readings God tells us that we already know His will - which is, basically, to LOVE.  It is embedded in our hearts, something we know innately.  It is not something that we need to search for or even analyze.  It's right there, in plain sight. All we really need to do is actually do it!

I have this compulsion to over-analyze things.  I feel it in my gut.  This is God's will and yet I go over it again and again in my head.  Is this God's will or is this what I think is God's will?  And, so, I stand in that same place, unmoving, stupefied - for ages!  So much time wasted just thinking if it's the right thing, if it's God's will.  Tsk, tsk, tsk!

2nd Reading
Colossians 1:15-20
"Christ Jesus is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn ofall creation. 16 For in him were created all things in heaven and on earth, the visible and the invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers; all things were created through him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together."

"In Him all things hold together"

So, once I've finally established and I'm absolutely sure it's God's will, the next thing I do is obsess over how I will go about it.  I analyze the current state and assess it vs. my future/ideal state.  Then I see all the obstacles and the impossibilities.  I obsess over the "how-to's" and kill myself worrying about how I can accomplish His will when:  (1) I only have 24 hours in my day; (2) I am a single mom; (3) I have limited resources; (4) Blah, blah, blah, blah.

I can just imagine Him shaking His head.  If I would only stop and be still long enough to hear Him say (and believe as He does):  "Relax, I've got this", then I'd probably be a freer and happier person.  

I know all these in theory.  I'd score perfect on a written exam.  But I'm flunking big time in actual practice.  I constantly have to remind myself that He truly holds all things together and everything will fall into place in His time.  I just need to keep going and focus on doing my part.  

Him first and then everything else will follow.

Bigger Bear Series: Keep an Eye Out for the Silver Lining

A series of unfortunate events ...

1. I gassed up at a Caltex station with really bad Starcard connection.  After the nth try and 15 minutes later, I begrudgingly swiped my card.  They gave me a 1.5 liter of coke, which I don't drink ... but our guests the following day did.
2. I rushed home in hopes of having dinner with the family, only to find out that everyone was out.  I finally had an opportunity to use my HappyPlus credits and got myself free food from Jollibee.  Since I was in the vicinity, I finally satisfied my Razon's halo-halo craving as well.
3. I went to work for a meeting, which was cancelled.  I could have worked from home.  And then they distributed the year-end snack packs. Yey!
4. I got bumped while my car was stopped in front of a red light. The car behind me was hit by a truck and the guy had the presence of mind to try and swerve away.  He still hit me, but with lesser damage.  At that late hour, my entire family kept me company on viber; my brother and sister drove to the police outpost; my tito (and his entire family) drove out to check on me as well; and the truck driver owned up to it and the insurance will cover for the damages.
5. The National Museum was free for June, so we made sure to schedule a trip before the month ended.  We had planned to leave early to be at the museum door when it opened at 10 am.  We wanted to go through both the Art Museum and the Artifacts Museum.  Being the nocturnal creatures that we were --- we woke up late, drove through heart-attack-hair-pulling worthy Manila traffic and arrived at noon.  But, when we walked in, we were greeted by Juna Luna's Spoliarium ... and we walked through the halls lost in all the art ... for HOURS.
6. Needless to say, the entire afternoon was sufficient only for the Art Museum.  We thought, bummer, we'll have to go back some other day and pay for it.  But then, on July 1st, the National Museum announced it was going to bee free ... ongoing!
7. It was raining when we left the museum.  We were all famished, so we decided to go to Intramuros for late lunch / heavy merienda.  By the time we finished, the sky had cleared and we had the opportunity to go to San Agustin Church, which was perfect for A's Art Lessons on old architecture!
8. Math day this week was bad.  We finished late and only managed one out of the two topics we were targeting.   Then I had to bring A with me to the office, since my sister was supposed to pick-up the police report for me.  A Math lover colleague came by to say 'hi' and ended up coaching my son on his Math lessons.  They covered both topics in a couple of hours ... with my son: (1) exclaiming "I luv Math"; and (2) complaining about going to dinner ... because he still wanted to do Math.   
9. I brought my sister with me so she could pick up the police report and go to the service center to get an estimate for my car's repairs.  And then we realized she couldn't get back in without my ID - which I needed while I was in the office.  Then a really stressed friend needed to decompress and we were more than willing to decompress with her.  Impromptu get-together!
10. My sister had two foiled efforts at going to DFA for her passport renewal.  A couple of days before her nth appointment, she got a call from DFA.  They were bumping her up a day ahead of schedule. On that day, she had the courtesy lane privilege and completed everything in 30 minutes. THIRTY MINUTES!

... if you keep an eye out for it, you'll find, there is always a silver lining to every dark cloud.

Reflection on Readings: How to Eliminate Your Enemy

Once, when he was much smaller, my son engaged me and my dad in a conversation.  After reading the Philippines Almanac, he maintained that the Spanish soldiers who fought against the Katipuneros were all bad.  My dad and I looked at each other and tried to explain to him that being bad depended on which side you were on.  It depended on perspective.  The Spanish soldiers were fighting against insurgents, while the Katipuneros were fighting for their freedom.

A video article I saw made exactly the same point.  The former CIA agent being interviewed opened with:  "If I learned one lesson from my time with the CIA, it is this:  Everybody believes they are the good guy."  And she goes on to state a very simple solution to world conflict / war:  "The only real way to disarm your enemy is to listen to them."  Then she said, "But the truth is, when you talk to the people who are really fighting on the ground, on both sides, and ask them why they are there.  They answer with hopes for their children, specific policies that they think are cruel or unfair ..."

CIA INTERVIEW

The key is being open to understanding and "loving" the enemy because, really, when we get down to the heart of it, we are all the same - fighting for essentially the same things:  the things and people we love.

So, how do you eliminate your enemy?  By making them your friend.

From Tuesday's Gospel

Matthew 5:43-48

 "Jesus said to his disciples: “You have heard that it was said, You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you,  that you may be children of your heavenly Father, for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust."

CEASEFIRE by For King & Country sums it up quite well.

How do we save a life
Pointing fingers?
How can we end the fight
This way?
When blame is the truth we're preaching?
And lies are what we're believing?
No one ever wins
When the goal is to settle the score

One by one we will call for a ceasefire
One by one we will fight for a better end
One by one we could rewrite the headlines
Standing side by side
One by one, love is building an empire
One by one, reaching out to our enemies
One by one we will make it to the finish line
Standing side by side
Ceasefire

I will be the first to say
I'm far from perfect
But grace was made for those who don't
Deserve it
So easy to cast the first stone
It's harder to search your own soul
No one ever wins
When the goal is to settle the score

Teach us how to live humbly
Love unconditionally
Transform our hurt into hope
And grant us Your peace

Bigger Bear Series: Surprises Come in 3's

Nothing better than a no-occasion gift. Not just one, but three. On a Monday.

Today felt like a long day, particularly because it started at 6:30 am, much MUCH earlier than my usual, for a full-day planning session. (And it's going to be the same story tomorrow).  Thus, at the end of the session, I was spent and couldn't wait to get home for a quick snooze --- before checking on my emails again.

1. When I got home, I found out that we had a few friend priests resting at the house before their long drive back to Bicol.  I'd been wanting to confess but the schedules didn't work for me ... so He sent the priest to me!  I had the chance to clarify a few things, received affirmation and was given a really cool penance! 
2. My parents were having dinner with the priests, but I decided not to join them since I wanted to clear off some of my emails.  Guess what I got in exchange?  An impromptu cracking physical therapy --- way better than the massage I had been dreaming of for the past couple of weeks!
3. Finally, a friend I'd been missing terribly popped in precisely to tell me that I am missed (and will visit me soon), loved ... and in dire need of exercise! 

Last week, He was telling me to RELAX through messages.  Today, He helped me do so by setting my soul at ease with a proper confession, soothing my body with a proper physical therapy and warming my heart with attention and affirmation I didn't know I was missing and craving.

I am loved ... SOOOO much!

Reflection on Readings: Darkness is Essential

Friday's Psalms
Psalm 23:1-3, 3-4, 5, 6
"He guides me in right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk in the dark valley I fear no evil; for you are at my side with your rod and your staff that give me courage."

silence.

my first thought was silence

and then my breathing

slowly beginning to race

as i opened my eyes

--- that were never closed

blackness.

only purple blackness.

i reach out my hands

searching

is there a difference between

nothingness and void?

where am i?

WHO am i?

have i died ...

or have just begun living?

Oprah mentioned that there is no such thing as wrong paths.  And why should there be, when He is not only guiding us, but walking with us.  But why would God take us through dark valleys in the first place?  Because ...

Darkness is not only essential, but a special blessing in disguise.

• It is only in darkness that we see and appreciate the pinpricks of light that surround us. We are able to recognize the seemingly "tiny" but constant blessings, which we take for granted.  True family and friends are given the opportunity to show us just how loved we are. 
• It is only in darkness that we are pushed to see, and find the courage to recognize and use the light INSIDE of us, so ...  "light the fire where you are" (Corinne Bailey Rae, "Stop Where You Are") 

"Stop Where You Are" by Corinne Bailey Rae 

Reflection on Readings / Bigger Bear Series: The Skies Will Break For You

1st Reading - May 28, Saturday
Jude 17, 20-25
"21 Keep yourselves in the love of God and wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life."

Last Saturday, as I was driving home from an errand, Corinne Bailey Rae's "The Skies Will Break" came on and it gave me a start ... because "the skies ARE breaking" for me now.

Before I go into the details of my "breaking skies" ...

***
In April, I received a note (a mere two-liner) from a friend, written on top of a long (oh, just a couple of pages) email I had sent 4 years ago. It detailed my sentiments and my woes at that time --- which was EXACTLY my sentiments and my woes currently.  Reading it felt like a virtual ASL ice bucket challenge.  I was stunned.  And then I was distressed and panicky.  It's been four years (FOUR YEARS!) and ... either I haven't moved or I've been going in circles.  Whichever conclusion I chose, it meant the same thing:  I was a failure.

I was in quite a state when I told my sister about it.  To which her only reply was something like, "But, Ate, I believe in God's timing ha". That silenced me.  I believe in God's timing and I've been telling people to do the same.  Yet here I was, panicking and running around like a headless chicken.  Shame on me!

Then my shepherd in the community posted an interview of Oprah ... and it was spot-on.  Below are the points that hit home:
The Legend of Oprah

1. "There are no mistakes ... There's no such thing as Failure.  Failure is just that thing trying to move you in another direction."
2. "You have a supreme destiny ... There is a supreme moment of destiny calling on your life ... and your job is to feel that, to hear that, to know that."
3. "You come from something greater and bigger and we all are really the same."
4. "... it's all leading to the same path.  There are no wrong paths"
5. "You get as much from your losses as you do from your victories."
6. "RELAX"
7. "When you're not at ease with yourself, that is the cue that you need to be moving in another direction."
8. "Get still"
9. "Think about the next right move and, from that space, make the next right move and the next right move."
10. "You are not defined by one moment or circumstance or what other people define as failure."

It was complemented by another post I saw from Ascension Press on "3 Things to Know About the Sign of the Cross", particularly the 3rd point.
Ascension Press - The Sign of the Cross

1. God is a Trinity
2. Your Worth 
3. You're here for a reason:  To know God, To love God, To serve God in this life so as to be with Him in the next.

I realized:

1. There are lessons that we need to consciously remind ourselves of over and over again, like God's perfect timing.  Just because, at the end of a trial, I see how everything eventually fell into place in God's perfect time, doesn't mean I will not panic whenever things don't happen the way I think they should. (Slow learner here).  
2. A lot of the gifts of the Holy Spirit are consumable and need to be replenished time and again, like Faith and Patience.  Just because I managed to go through a difficult trial in faith doesn't mean I can go through the next one in faith without any trouble.

It's a daily thing ... and the struggle is real (insert Bitmoji here).

***

Now, going back to my "breaking skies" ...

Prior to the song coming on, I was mulling over the recent events in my life.  In  just a span of two months (from the time I received the note):

1. I went on a business trip I didn't intend to go to ... and it landed me the next role I wanted.
2. After months of working on the requirements, I finally got the loan for the lot I was purchasing ... just in time for the completion of the building plans.
3. My sister  is resigning from her steady income job to get her sh@t together ... and offered to help me get my sh@t together as well.
4. I felt unhealthy and wanted to do some form of cleansing program.  My bestfriend offered me one ... and, in the process, gave me something that will help augment my expenses.
5. My friend's meeting got cancelled, so he decided to drop by for a quick catch-up over coffee.  We ended up tossing around great ideas for my DIP (dream-in-progress).

I realized, there was never any need for worry. Help will come when it is needed.

What I should have done (and should always remind myself to do) was to "keep myself in the love of God", while I "wait for His mercy". The God who has set my life in motion will make sure I roll towards and land on the right spot, the one reserved just for me.

So, yes, the "skies are breaking" for me now ... and it's right on time.

The Skies Will Break by Corinne Bailey Rae

Bigger Bear Series: Perfectly Unplanned Gift

It was my son's birthday last week.  Annually, we celebrate his birthday by going on a beach holiday. This year was no different.

The flight back from our holiday weekend landed on his very birthday.  We didn't plan it that way, but we thought it was just as well since we wanted to go to Mass.

At the church, my sister walked ahead of us, so that she could fall in line for the confession.  It was a good thing she did not wait for us, since she was able to secure the final two slots for her and my son.

My son had always wanted to be part of the May flower offerings to Mama Mary after Mass, but we always forgot to buy flowers.  But because I had issues with my door, requiring my son to open it for me, we walked into the church in time for one of the mother butlers to hand us a rose each - for the May flower offerings to Mary!

The Gospel and the homily suited my son perfectly as well that we talked about it in the car on the way to dinner.  Without a doubt, God and Mama Mary orchestrated this perfectly "unplanned" Mass gift for my son ... and we feel immensely grateful and blessed!

Poetic Dose

Elusive Sleep

I hear your incoherent thoughts

from miles away

Like "us"

they don't make sense

Tomorrow when you find them

keep them

Then let me sleep

from now and always.

Thoughts: Sheep to Slaughter

How does one mourn the sheep
that walks into the lion's den;
And takes the entire flock
along with it?

Reflection on Readings: Modern Bayanihan

(Makabagong Bayanihan Artwork by: Santiago Balase)

As with most Filipinos, this election period has rekindled the fire of my patriotic heart.  It lit the entire nation's patriotism.  And it's good!

But it has also sown seeds of division as we passionately rooted for our candidates. Now THAT is NOT good!

Amidst all the campaigning and FB "unfriending", I felt a nagging feeling that we're missing something vital.  I found my answer/s in the readings of the past days.

I.  It is Not a One-Man Team

From Sunday's 1st Reading
Acts 1:1-11
"When they had gathered together they asked him, “Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?” 

We want the restoration of the Philippines.  We want it immediate. And we are putting this on the shoulders of just one person (maybe two).

It is an unfair expectation.  

It is also not right.

"He answered them, “It is not for you to know the times or seasons that the Father has established by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, throughout Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

Simply put, Jesus is saying:  No, I will not do it alone.  YOU will help Me.  BUT I will enable you.

The same is true for any leader.  He sets the direction.  He enables.  But it's the whole team (him, included) that executes and delivers.

"They said, “Men of Galilee, why are you standing there looking at the sky?"

We cannot just stand still and keep looking up, waiting for something to happen.  (That brings to mind the image of Juan Tamad, waiting for under a tree for the fruit to fall off vs. just plucking it off the tree).  

As recommended by Ignatian Spirituality:

"Pray as if everything depended on God; Work as if everything depended on YOU."

Nothing wrong with praying and entrust everything to God. We should do that. But we need to carry our own weight as well, and contribute to the overall growth and development of our country.

II.  The Leader/s Will Need Guidance

From Saturday's First Reading

Acts 18:23-28

"A Jew named Apollos, a native of Alexandria, an eloquent speaker, arrived in Ephesus. He was an authority on the Scriptures. He had been instructed in the Way of the Lord and, with ardent spirit, spoke and taught accurately about Jesus, although he knew only the baptism of John. He began to speak boldly in the synagogue; but when Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they took him aside and explained to him the Way of God more accurately. And when he wanted to cross to Achaia, the brothers encouraged him and wrote to the disciples there to welcome him."

Assuming positive intent, all candidates come with a zealous and "ardent spirit" to serve the country.  All come with a set of knowledge, expertise and characteristics that are far from perfect nor complete.  Thus, regardless who the elected would be, he/she will need the guidance of the experienced and the experts; and the FULL support of the people.

"After his arrival he gave great assistance to those who had come to believe through grace."

I see no better way of explaining this than by sharing a favorite conversation from Kung Fu Panda (Yeah, you read that right).

Oogway: My friend, the panda will never fulfill his destiny, nor you yours, until you let go of the illusion of control.

Shifu: Illusion?

Oogway: Yes.

[points at peach tree]

Oogway: Look at this tree, Shifu. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me, nor make it bear fruit before its time.

Shifu: But there are things we *can* control.

[kicks the tree so that peaches fall]

Shifu: I can control when the fruit will fall!

[he slices a peach and throws the pit to the ground]

Shifu: I can control where to plant the seed! That is no illusion, Master!

Oogway: Ah, yes. But no matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.

Shifu: But a peach cannot defeat Tai Lung!

Oogway: [folding dirt over the peach pit] Maybe it *can*, if you are willing to guide it, to nurture it. To believe in it.

III.  He's Got This

From Today's (May 9) Gospel

John 16:29-33

"I have told you this so that you might have peace in me. In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world.”

It is not going to be easy, but He's got our back.  He's got this. 

The prayer should then be:  "Not my will, but YOUR will be done.  Let Your anointed candidate/s win."  

From Sunday's 2nd Reading

Hebrews 9:24-28; 10:19-23

"...let us approach with a sincere heart and in absolute trust, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed in pure water. Let us hold unwaveringly to our confession that gives us hope, for he who made the promise is trustworthy."

We just have to trust Him and do our part.  (Really, what is there to worry when the One who promised has so far delivered a 100% batting average?)

IV.  Keep the Fire Burning

"Do not go gentle into that good night,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light."  (Dylan Thomas)

Pope Francis said that one of the greatest disease of present society is Apathy.  As I said, one very good thing that this election period has accomplished is to wake all of us from our stupor, igniting a pure and burning love for country.

Let us keep the momentum.  Keep stoking the fire.

V.  Act!

From Today's Reflection

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing” (Edmund Burke).

Finally ... ACT!  If we won't move, then who will?

There is no other way forward, but TOGETHER - with God's grace.  This is Modern Bayanihan.

Mary's Song (For Mama)

It's been 30 minutes and I am still staring at an empty page.  How does one begin to give tribute to someone who has lifted you up and broken your heart so many times?

I suppose, "Breath of Heaven" (Mary's Song), is a good place to start.  Afterall, Mary is the one she tries to emulate and the one she runs to in times of need or weakness.

"I have traveled many moonless nights
Cold and weary with a babe inside
And I wonder what I've done
Holy father you have come
And chosen me now to carry your son."

The hesitant servant, who not only feels unworthy but also second-guesses her capability to deliver against the tasks and roles God had commissioned her to take.

Yet she submits and accepts.

"I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear ...

Be with me now"

The times she choose to be silent, therein I find her formidable strength. Prayer.

"Breath of heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of heaven
Breath of heaven
Lighten my darkness
Pour over me your holiness
For you are holy
Breath of heaven"

Those are the times she is most humble.  And, in her littleness, God shows His greatness.

"Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of your plan
Help me be strong
Help me be
Help me"

I have never seen anyone so scared and so unsure of herself ... who, nevertheless, pushes forward as relentlessly as her. Devoid of faith in herself, but full of faith in Him, she carries on, always obedient.

I have never known anyone so generous, who gives even out of her own need; and to people who fail to recognize her efforts and sacrifices.  I used to find it foolish.  Why would one knowingly give her only bread as she is about to partake it?

Yet, for all the times she gave in blind obedience, God gave back ... faithfully. 

Ma, I know you always saw me as the strong and stubborn one.  But, really, it is you. (Although in your case, you're stubbornly obedient to His will; and I'm just plain stubborn). In your quiet strength, I find my own.  In your humility, I am humbled.  In your faith, I have faith.

For all the times you lifted me up - as my cheerer or prayer warrior; and for all the times you broke my heart - so painfully blind to your own strengths and worth ... THANK YOU!

I hope to be even just a third of the mother/woman that you are.  It is an honor and blessing to be your daughter.

I love you!

P.S.  Thank you for the impromptu bonding opportunity last Monday!

  

An Appropriate Valentine's Day Movie: How To Be Single (Part 2)

"She's imperfect but she tries

She is good but she lies

She is hard on herself

She is broken and won't ask for help

She is messy but she's kind

She is lonely most of the time

She is all of this mixed up

And baked in a beautiful pie

She is gone but she used to be mine."

(Sara Bareilles)

The first time I heard this song, I actually teared up. This is true for every woman.  No matter what the profile is: funny or serious; creative or academic; career-oriented or homey, society and history have inevitably wired every woman to compete with her ideal image of herself - planted in her subconscious based on society's definition..  She lives through a daily barrage of criticisms from her worst critic - herself.  And amidst all these is the underlying need and yearning to be "completely and irrevocably" loved.

At least, those are the two common factors among the 4 female characters that struck me. 

So ... let's explore the stereotypes ... (I personally think there's a bit of all 4 girls in each of us)

Alice

Alice is your typical girl-next-door who was born specifically to fill-up a role - which she played out really well.  She has lived her life doing what people think is best for her (or what would please them) and has defined herself based on that.  She is a long-term relationship kind of girl, very adaptable and prone to losing her own identity within a relationship. She feels incomplete and, perhaps, even inadequate outside of one that she is anxious to jump from one relationship to another. While not in a relationship, she plans her life around it, anticipating and making provisions for a yet unidentified boyfriend (or husband).

Song:  Love Song for No One (John Mayer)

Mantra:  You complete me. 

No.  He doesn't. Check the mirror.  You're already complete.  Whether you're fully maximizing YOU is an entirely different discussion.  But you're a work-in-progress. And it's a project between you and God. Everyone else is either a resource or a contributor.

Meg

Meg is the achiever who has her life all planned out ... and it includes no one else, but herself.  She believes that one can achieve self-actualization by focusing on the self (elementary, my dear). In terms of relationships, she maintains a small set of family and friends.  It's a healthy and thriving tiny circle of trust that rarely expands, mainly because her heart is highly breakable and she cannot trust it with just anyone.

"She had a heart the size of France, and the lucky few whom she loved with it were loved with every square inch - but its size made it dangerous, too. If she let it feel everything, she would be wrecked.  So she had to tame it, shush it, shut it up." (Library of Souls, Ransom Riggs).

Song:  Solo Dancing (Indiana)

Mantra:  I am Superwoman.

Perhaps. They say "a man does not know what he wants until it is handed to him".  It's true for some women, too. And, the funny thing is, "we work so hard to get rid of them when sometimes they're the very thing that saves us." (Conor's Mom, A Monster Calls).  Loosen up and open that heart a crack.  Who knows what wonderful things can wander in?

Lucy

Lucy is special.  She is amazingly self-aware, idealistic and acutely aware of the realities of life - almost neurotic.  She recognizes her needs and knows exactly what she wants.  She wants a man who is perfect for her, based on her well-researched checklist that considers her strengths, weaknesses and goals.  She goes through the entire getting-to-know phase mentally going through her checklist and eagle-eye spotting red flags (or anything remotely red, for that matter).

Song:  Little Lou, Ugly Jack, Prophet John (Belle & Sebastian, Norah Jones)

Mantra:  I'm not picky.

Yes, you are.  You can't possibly need everything on that list. Determine the non-negotiables and allow everything else to be fluid - a proper balance of mind and heart. "Do not escape prematurely.  Do not panic.  There will be time'' (The Humans); lest "humans [you] fail to see what is close to them [you] and obvious to others." (The Rosie Project). Afterall, no one really knows what's best for you (not even you) but God. 

Robin

And then there's Robin, who is living in the moment and open to what life will bring her - especially love.  She is working and reveling on herself and life in general, so that when the right man comes at the right time and place, she will be ready.  There will be no regrets and what-ifs - because she has not put her life on hold while waiting for "the One".  She walks with "heart wide open".

Song:  Dark Horse (Katy Perry)

Mantra:  Life is like a box of chocolates.  You'll never know what you're gonna get.

So just enjoy the chocolate.  Relish it.  If you get a bad one, it's fine.  Pick up the next one.  You've got an entire box, afterall.