Reflection on Readings: Modern Bayanihan

(Makabagong Bayanihan Artwork by: Santiago Balase)

As with most Filipinos, this election period has rekindled the fire of my patriotic heart.  It lit the entire nation's patriotism.  And it's good!

But it has also sown seeds of division as we passionately rooted for our candidates. Now THAT is NOT good!

Amidst all the campaigning and FB "unfriending", I felt a nagging feeling that we're missing something vital.  I found my answer/s in the readings of the past days.

I.  It is Not a One-Man Team

From Sunday's 1st Reading
Acts 1:1-11
"When they had gathered together they asked him, “Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?” 

We want the restoration of the Philippines.  We want it immediate. And we are putting this on the shoulders of just one person (maybe two).

It is an unfair expectation.  

It is also not right.

"He answered them, “It is not for you to know the times or seasons that the Father has established by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, throughout Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

Simply put, Jesus is saying:  No, I will not do it alone.  YOU will help Me.  BUT I will enable you.

The same is true for any leader.  He sets the direction.  He enables.  But it's the whole team (him, included) that executes and delivers.

"They said, “Men of Galilee, why are you standing there looking at the sky?"

We cannot just stand still and keep looking up, waiting for something to happen.  (That brings to mind the image of Juan Tamad, waiting for under a tree for the fruit to fall off vs. just plucking it off the tree).  

As recommended by Ignatian Spirituality:

"Pray as if everything depended on God; Work as if everything depended on YOU."

Nothing wrong with praying and entrust everything to God. We should do that. But we need to carry our own weight as well, and contribute to the overall growth and development of our country.

II.  The Leader/s Will Need Guidance

From Saturday's First Reading

Acts 18:23-28

"A Jew named Apollos, a native of Alexandria, an eloquent speaker, arrived in Ephesus. He was an authority on the Scriptures. He had been instructed in the Way of the Lord and, with ardent spirit, spoke and taught accurately about Jesus, although he knew only the baptism of John. He began to speak boldly in the synagogue; but when Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they took him aside and explained to him the Way of God more accurately. And when he wanted to cross to Achaia, the brothers encouraged him and wrote to the disciples there to welcome him."

Assuming positive intent, all candidates come with a zealous and "ardent spirit" to serve the country.  All come with a set of knowledge, expertise and characteristics that are far from perfect nor complete.  Thus, regardless who the elected would be, he/she will need the guidance of the experienced and the experts; and the FULL support of the people.

"After his arrival he gave great assistance to those who had come to believe through grace."

I see no better way of explaining this than by sharing a favorite conversation from Kung Fu Panda (Yeah, you read that right).

Oogway: My friend, the panda will never fulfill his destiny, nor you yours, until you let go of the illusion of control.

Shifu: Illusion?

Oogway: Yes.

[points at peach tree]

Oogway: Look at this tree, Shifu. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me, nor make it bear fruit before its time.

Shifu: But there are things we *can* control.

[kicks the tree so that peaches fall]

Shifu: I can control when the fruit will fall!

[he slices a peach and throws the pit to the ground]

Shifu: I can control where to plant the seed! That is no illusion, Master!

Oogway: Ah, yes. But no matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.

Shifu: But a peach cannot defeat Tai Lung!

Oogway: [folding dirt over the peach pit] Maybe it *can*, if you are willing to guide it, to nurture it. To believe in it.

III.  He's Got This

From Today's (May 9) Gospel

John 16:29-33

"I have told you this so that you might have peace in me. In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world.”

It is not going to be easy, but He's got our back.  He's got this. 

The prayer should then be:  "Not my will, but YOUR will be done.  Let Your anointed candidate/s win."  

From Sunday's 2nd Reading

Hebrews 9:24-28; 10:19-23

"...let us approach with a sincere heart and in absolute trust, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed in pure water. Let us hold unwaveringly to our confession that gives us hope, for he who made the promise is trustworthy."

We just have to trust Him and do our part.  (Really, what is there to worry when the One who promised has so far delivered a 100% batting average?)

IV.  Keep the Fire Burning

"Do not go gentle into that good night,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light."  (Dylan Thomas)

Pope Francis said that one of the greatest disease of present society is Apathy.  As I said, one very good thing that this election period has accomplished is to wake all of us from our stupor, igniting a pure and burning love for country.

Let us keep the momentum.  Keep stoking the fire.

V.  Act!

From Today's Reflection

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing” (Edmund Burke).

Finally ... ACT!  If we won't move, then who will?

There is no other way forward, but TOGETHER - with God's grace.  This is Modern Bayanihan.

Mary's Song (For Mama)

It's been 30 minutes and I am still staring at an empty page.  How does one begin to give tribute to someone who has lifted you up and broken your heart so many times?

I suppose, "Breath of Heaven" (Mary's Song), is a good place to start.  Afterall, Mary is the one she tries to emulate and the one she runs to in times of need or weakness.

"I have traveled many moonless nights
Cold and weary with a babe inside
And I wonder what I've done
Holy father you have come
And chosen me now to carry your son."

The hesitant servant, who not only feels unworthy but also second-guesses her capability to deliver against the tasks and roles God had commissioned her to take.

Yet she submits and accepts.

"I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear ...

Be with me now"

The times she choose to be silent, therein I find her formidable strength. Prayer.

"Breath of heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of heaven
Breath of heaven
Lighten my darkness
Pour over me your holiness
For you are holy
Breath of heaven"

Those are the times she is most humble.  And, in her littleness, God shows His greatness.

"Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of your plan
Help me be strong
Help me be
Help me"

I have never seen anyone so scared and so unsure of herself ... who, nevertheless, pushes forward as relentlessly as her. Devoid of faith in herself, but full of faith in Him, she carries on, always obedient.

I have never known anyone so generous, who gives even out of her own need; and to people who fail to recognize her efforts and sacrifices.  I used to find it foolish.  Why would one knowingly give her only bread as she is about to partake it?

Yet, for all the times she gave in blind obedience, God gave back ... faithfully. 

Ma, I know you always saw me as the strong and stubborn one.  But, really, it is you. (Although in your case, you're stubbornly obedient to His will; and I'm just plain stubborn). In your quiet strength, I find my own.  In your humility, I am humbled.  In your faith, I have faith.

For all the times you lifted me up - as my cheerer or prayer warrior; and for all the times you broke my heart - so painfully blind to your own strengths and worth ... THANK YOU!

I hope to be even just a third of the mother/woman that you are.  It is an honor and blessing to be your daughter.

I love you!

P.S.  Thank you for the impromptu bonding opportunity last Monday!

  

An Appropriate Valentine's Day Movie: How To Be Single (Part 2)

"She's imperfect but she tries

She is good but she lies

She is hard on herself

She is broken and won't ask for help

She is messy but she's kind

She is lonely most of the time

She is all of this mixed up

And baked in a beautiful pie

She is gone but she used to be mine."

(Sara Bareilles)

The first time I heard this song, I actually teared up. This is true for every woman.  No matter what the profile is: funny or serious; creative or academic; career-oriented or homey, society and history have inevitably wired every woman to compete with her ideal image of herself - planted in her subconscious based on society's definition..  She lives through a daily barrage of criticisms from her worst critic - herself.  And amidst all these is the underlying need and yearning to be "completely and irrevocably" loved.

At least, those are the two common factors among the 4 female characters that struck me. 

So ... let's explore the stereotypes ... (I personally think there's a bit of all 4 girls in each of us)

Alice

Alice is your typical girl-next-door who was born specifically to fill-up a role - which she played out really well.  She has lived her life doing what people think is best for her (or what would please them) and has defined herself based on that.  She is a long-term relationship kind of girl, very adaptable and prone to losing her own identity within a relationship. She feels incomplete and, perhaps, even inadequate outside of one that she is anxious to jump from one relationship to another. While not in a relationship, she plans her life around it, anticipating and making provisions for a yet unidentified boyfriend (or husband).

Song:  Love Song for No One (John Mayer)

Mantra:  You complete me. 

No.  He doesn't. Check the mirror.  You're already complete.  Whether you're fully maximizing YOU is an entirely different discussion.  But you're a work-in-progress. And it's a project between you and God. Everyone else is either a resource or a contributor.

Meg

Meg is the achiever who has her life all planned out ... and it includes no one else, but herself.  She believes that one can achieve self-actualization by focusing on the self (elementary, my dear). In terms of relationships, she maintains a small set of family and friends.  It's a healthy and thriving tiny circle of trust that rarely expands, mainly because her heart is highly breakable and she cannot trust it with just anyone.

"She had a heart the size of France, and the lucky few whom she loved with it were loved with every square inch - but its size made it dangerous, too. If she let it feel everything, she would be wrecked.  So she had to tame it, shush it, shut it up." (Library of Souls, Ransom Riggs).

Song:  Solo Dancing (Indiana)

Mantra:  I am Superwoman.

Perhaps. They say "a man does not know what he wants until it is handed to him".  It's true for some women, too. And, the funny thing is, "we work so hard to get rid of them when sometimes they're the very thing that saves us." (Conor's Mom, A Monster Calls).  Loosen up and open that heart a crack.  Who knows what wonderful things can wander in?

Lucy

Lucy is special.  She is amazingly self-aware, idealistic and acutely aware of the realities of life - almost neurotic.  She recognizes her needs and knows exactly what she wants.  She wants a man who is perfect for her, based on her well-researched checklist that considers her strengths, weaknesses and goals.  She goes through the entire getting-to-know phase mentally going through her checklist and eagle-eye spotting red flags (or anything remotely red, for that matter).

Song:  Little Lou, Ugly Jack, Prophet John (Belle & Sebastian, Norah Jones)

Mantra:  I'm not picky.

Yes, you are.  You can't possibly need everything on that list. Determine the non-negotiables and allow everything else to be fluid - a proper balance of mind and heart. "Do not escape prematurely.  Do not panic.  There will be time'' (The Humans); lest "humans [you] fail to see what is close to them [you] and obvious to others." (The Rosie Project). Afterall, no one really knows what's best for you (not even you) but God. 

Robin

And then there's Robin, who is living in the moment and open to what life will bring her - especially love.  She is working and reveling on herself and life in general, so that when the right man comes at the right time and place, she will be ready.  There will be no regrets and what-ifs - because she has not put her life on hold while waiting for "the One".  She walks with "heart wide open".

Song:  Dark Horse (Katy Perry)

Mantra:  Life is like a box of chocolates.  You'll never know what you're gonna get.

So just enjoy the chocolate.  Relish it.  If you get a bad one, it's fine.  Pick up the next one.  You've got an entire box, afterall.

An Appropriate Valentine's Day Movie: How To Be Single (Part I)

"All the single ladies;

All the single ladies

All the single ladies

All the single ladies

Now put your hands up!

Wuh uh oh uh uh oh oh uh oh uh uh oh"

For Valentine's Day this year, my sister and I thought we'd do something we really wanted; something a bit rebellious and bold ... so we blocked our calendars to watch "Deadpool" (What? It's rebellious ... sort of).  

Valentine's Day rolls in and we strut to the ticket booth.  Sold Out.  But we're there already, so we might as well watch a movie.  We go through the movies showing and there's nothing interesting, save for one:  "How To Be Single".  Wonderful.  God is mocking us. 

As we walked into the theater, the crowd consisted of couples who did not make it to the "Deadpool" showing.  I had to suppress a chuckle as I thought,  "How appropriate."  

The movie did not disappoint.  It was quirky funny in true Rebel Wilson fashion and, surprisingly, insightful - mostly because it was totally relatable.

On the ride home, we talked about who our Toms, Davids or Joshes are, sending us giggling back down memory lane.  But those are stories for another day. Let's talk about the male stereotypes.

Josh

Josh is the boy you've known all your life.  He knows all your little quirks and the perks that go with them. He understands you and you understand him.  It's so hard to imagine life without him.  In so many ways, he feels a lot like a security blanket:  familiar, dependable, cozy and comfortable.  Sometimes the familiarity can get boring.  Sometimes you yearn for it like home.

It would be good to find your Josh at the right time, when you're ready ... and he is ready.  Otherwise, one or both will feel the need to explore, "see what's out there" and understand "what I'm missing". You start out, planning (and secure in the thought) to come back.  Sometimes it works out and you resume to walk the road together, confident and sure-footed.  

But then, sometimes, life happens and, when you circle back, you find yourselves face-to-face with a very familiar stranger.

Tom

Tom is the guy you find extremely attractive and you feel amazing chemistry with.   So does every other girl.  He is acutely aware of this and has made a science out of allocating his time among a menu of girls:  a girl for every occasion. He is a self-confessed non-relationship type of guy, ready to have fun within your imagined parameters.  To be fair, he is honest and upfront.  But women are inherently given to hearing only what they want to hear; and prone to disillusions of being the one who will tame his rogue heart.  And, so, they choose to remain on the menu.

The thing is, Tom would make a great partner - with his ability to tune in and a keen understanding of the female psyche - IF and WHEN he decides to.  

Don't hold your breath for it.

David

David is the guy who checks out against every item in your checklist ... but he is not ready for you right now. It can be an old flame, a career goal, family, etc.  Whatever or whoever it is, you are not the priority at the moment.  To compete is futile.  

Abort!

Perhaps in the future, when the timing is perfect and you're both ready, you can pick up from where you left off.  Perhaps.

Paul

Paul is the fluke.  He's the one who seems perfect at the onset.  You throw yourself full throttle into the relationship only to realize that you're heading towards opposite directions; that you had stars in your eyes which prevented you from seeing HIM; that the differences are not complementary; that the little things are not little and they actually add up substantially.

Cut your losses.  

Brush yourself off and try again.

Ken

Ken is the unlikely choice, who turns out to be the one.  He's the one who will make you think twice about judging a book by its cover. (Hehe!).  He will seem like the opposite of almost everything in your checklist; the misfit.  You vehemently shake your head, No.  But he stays (patiently hopeful and annoyingly persistent) and creeps under your skin.  Next thing you know, you notice the nuances that highlight who he is and he becomes just a little bit more adorable each day.

So you give in - kicking and screaming.

For heaven's sake, let go already!

George

Then there's George.  He could be any of the first 4 or someone completely different, who turned out to be the one.  He was at the right place, at the right time; had the minimum requirements (the non-negotiables, duh!) or the full criteria; shares the same wavelength or, at least, catches your drift; had the intent, acted on it and committed to it (all the way, baby!).

He is ready.

And so are you.

Reflection on Readings: The Necessity of Walking Blindfolded

Wednesday's readings touched on the interesting relationship among faith, prayer, God's answer and giving.

1st Reading

 Acts 3:1-10

"... a man crippled from birth was carried and placed at the gate of the temple called “the Beautiful Gate” every day to beg for alms from the people who entered the temple. When he saw Peter and John about to go into the temple, he asked for alms. But Peter looked intently at him, as did John, and said, “Look at us.” He paid attention to them, expecting to receive something from them. Peter said, “I have neither silver nor gold, but what I do have I give you: in the name of Jesus Christ the Nazorean, rise and walk.”

1. When praying, we fall into the habit of focusing heavily on the material need (he asked for alms) vs. what we truly need.  
2. Sometimes we don't know what we need.  Thankfully, God does.
3. When we know what we need, but doubt its possibility, sometimes we tailor our prayer to just what is logically possible.  We forget that nothing is impossible with God.  We should not confine our prayers to the limits of our capabilities but to God's - and God's capabilities are boundless!
4. Giving is a gift.  If you have the capacity and the prompting to give, no matter how insignificant the offering or how odd the circumstances, give.  What you have to offer might exactly be what the person needs. (“I have neither silver nor gold, but what I do have I give you: in the name of Jesus Christ the Nazorean, rise and walk.”) I recall a story my mom told us when we were younger.  She was praying at the Blessed Sacrament one evening and there was another lady there who was crying.  She did not know who this person was nor why she was crying.  But something inside her prompted her to give a small amount, which was all she could afford.  At the risk of insulting the lady (she didn't look like she needed money), my mom got up and gave her small offering.  Seeing what she gave, the lady broke down all the more.  As it turned out, she could barely make ends meet and needed money at that moment to buy food.  What my mom gave was enough to tide them over.  Needless to say, they became good friends after that.
5. God's answers can come through unexpected people and sometimes comes when you least expect it. 

Gospel

 Luke 24:13-35

"Jesus himself drew near and walked with them, but their eyes were prevented from recognizing him."

"With that their eyes were opened and they recognized him, but he vanished from their sight. Then they said to each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he spoke to us on the way and opened the Scriptures to us?”

"So they set out at once and returned to Jerusalem where they found gathered together the Eleven and those with them who were saying, “The Lord has truly been raised and has appeared to Simon!” Then the two recounted what had taken place on the way and how he was made known to them in the breaking of the bread. "

What struck me about the first line is that "their eyes were prevented from recognizing him".  Not knowing who Jesus was enabled them to experience the walk with him more fully, unfiltered. Instead of their usual teacher-student relationship where they mostly waited for and listened to Jesus' explanations, the conversation became more interactive.  They were able to discuss in more depth and they were more receptive and open.

Taking this passage in daily ordinary context ...

Every person we meet, we meet for a reason.  The same is true for every situation we go through.  We do not know this at the onset, but it unfolds as we walk with them/it.

1. Keep the blindfold on.  No expectations.  That's the only way you can experience it fully.  You do not always have to know why or to understand the point.  
2. Just run with it.  The point is, you have to go through it to get the point.  Get it?
3. The heart knows: when to keep going and when to stop; when it is right and when it is not.  If it is God's will, the "heart [will be] burning within us".
4. It can end in a blink of an eye.  So be in the moment. Be with whoever you are walking with.
5. Keep it burning.  When it ends, take the good.  (There is ALWAYS something good). Keep it burning, so you can use it to ...
6. Light up another soul.

Lenten Series: Walking My Easter with Heart Wide Open

Mona Tavakoli posted this image on her IG account and it reverberated through my entire being.

There is a slowness to me and how I experience life. A sage aunt once told me, it's because I have to relish every experience, bleeding it for every feeling and emotion; contemplating it's every facet; finding poetry in the joy and, especially, the pain.

One would think me wiser then, but I am not.  The poetry lures me into a loophole and I find myself running round and round the same path, never wiser, just more creatively foolish.

The past months, I carried myself through a slow death of my spirit.  Zombie-walking through life, until I saw myself in the grey, lifeless, crowd in "The Little Prince" movie.  I cried (as my son watched, amused) in the theater.  I cried for me.  I cried for a new song that my spirit will sing.

All I am is breath and vapor and shadow.
All I have is what I need and this I know.

There's an aching in my body, within my lungs.
This web of bones around my heart is coming undone.
I need a new song. I need a new song. 
I'm waiting in the night for you
burning the sky for you. Waiting in the night for you

(New Song by Audrey Assad)

The painful part is realizing, that the song had been inside me all along.  I had buried it underneath duties, responsibilities, plans and goals.  It scratched underneath and I pounded at it for being a distraction from my life. It died.  And I died with it.

Thankfully, life is a cycle.  Sometimes you have to die a little (or more) in order to steer closer to the true source of life - throbbing and burning underneath the rubbles. And then bravely dig it free.

I have resolved to dig my poor exhausted heart free and live the life I was meant to live; to be who I truly am.

I have resolved to walk my Easter and sing my new song with Heart WIDE Open!

Lenten Series: Cramming on a Good Friday

I intended to make it a meaningful Lent for my son and I, since he's old enough to understand and appreciate its importance.  Then, the next thing I knew, it was Holy Week. So, I crammed everything yesterday, on Good Friday.

I realized, I couldn't very well just jump into the Passion of Christ.  Since timelines work for him, I started off with the liturgical calendar.

The Colors

• Purple / Violet - officially, this color symbolizes: penance, humility and melancholy.  I explained violet seasons as seasons of waiting and preparation.
• White - officially, this color represents: light, innocence, purity, joy, triumph, glory.  I explained white seasons as seasons of celebration.
• Green -   officially, this color stands for:  hope, the Holy Ghost, eternal life.  I explained green seasons for making the ordinary extraordinary for other people without being told, even when no one is watching.
• Red - officially means:  the Passion, Blood, Fire, God's love, martyrdom.  I explained red seasons as seasons of special showers of graces.

The Seasons vs. Christ's Life vs. the Mysteries of the Rosary

• Advent (Old Testament)- This represents the time before Christ's coming, when everybody was waiting for the promised Messiah.  
• Christmas (Gospels / Joyful Mysteries) - The time of Christ's birth. 
• 1st Set of Ordinary Times (Gospels / Joyful Mysteries) - This was Jesus's growing up years; the time before His ministry.  Only very few stories are included in the Gospels.  This is the time when He was being prepared by Mary & St. Joseph to whom He was completely obedient.
• Lent (Gospels / Sorrowful & Luminous Mysteries) - This was the three-year ministry of Jesus, which starts from His Baptism by John the Baptist and culminates in His passion and death.
• Easter (Gospels / Glorious Mysteries) - The resurrection of Jesus, which made it possible for us to go to heaven.
• Pentecost (Gospels / Acts of the Apostles / Glorious Mysteries) - The start of the Church; the start of the Ministry of Mary and the Apostles.
• 2nd Set of Ordinary Times (Acts of the Apostles / Epistles / Revelation) - This is the times we live in, where we wait for Jesus' 2nd Coming as Christ the King.

Lent = Sorrowful Mysteries = Stations of the Cross

• Palm Sunday: This was when Jesus entered Jerusalem and He was welcomed like a hero or a rock star.
• Maundy Thursday - Last Supper: This was when Jesus instituted the Eucharist and mandated them to love one another - that is how people will know that they are His disciples.
• Agony in the Garden: This was when Jesus prayed to God the Father in preparation for what was going to happen.  He knew He was about to go through a lot of suffering and pain.  It scared Him so much, that He even asked God the Father to not let Him go through it.  But, in the end, He still said "not my will, but Your will be done, Father".  Doing God's Will will not always be easy.  Many times we will want the Father to "let this cup of suffering pass". But we have to ask for His grace to give us strength to trust and do His will, so that we can experience the Glorious mysteries He has planned out for us.
• Good Friday - Scourging at the Pillar/Carrying of the Cross:  I showed my son clips from the movie, Passion of the Christ. These two scenes had the most impact to him.  He saw how the devil was trying to weaken Jesus' spirit and how Mama Mary countered this with her presence.  Each time Jesus felt like giving up, Mama Mary was there, silently giving Him strength even though it was obviously very difficult for her to see Him suffering.  They went through the Passion together.  At one point, my son exclaimed, "Mom! Mama Mary could see the Devil! They are fighting over Jesus! Whoa!"  I told him that's how it is everyday, instead of Jesus, it's every man/woman that Mary is fighting with. 
• Good Friday - Crucifixion of Jesus:  Here, we talked about the 7 last words.  

1. "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." In the midst of His sufferings, He still managed to forgive.
2. "Amen, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise."  Jesus' death opened up the gates of heaven for us.
3. "Woman, this is your son ... This is your mother."  This was two-fold.  He made sure someone will take care of His mother during her final days.  But, the more important significance of this statement is Jesus entrusting mankind into the care of Mama Mary.
4. "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?"  This is probably the darkest hour of Jesus.  He is very close to the Father who is the source of Love.  Not feeling His presence is the most difficult and most painful "torture" He had to endure as part of His sacrifice.
5. "I thirst."  I started by saying, "When He said this, He did not mean He was thirsty for water ..." My son finished it for me with, "He is thirsty for love ... from us.  I know, Mama.  I think it's because I am not listening to Him anymore. He talks to me when I pray, but I don't listen."
6. "It is finished." Mission accomplished.
7. "Father, into Your hands I commend My spirit"  Now it's time to go back to His Father.

• Black Saturday - "He descended into Hell / the Dead":  He picked up the worthy souls who have died and were waiting for Him.  He had the good thief with Him.
• Easter Sunday - The Resurrection - "On the third day He rose again":  And because of this, we can also have everlasting life in heaven.

Post Discussions:

A:  "What do we do in heaven, Mama?"

M: "We worship God and bask in His presence which is Love"

A:  "What happens in hell?"

M:  "In hell, you don't feel God's presence.  He is absent.  You don't feel Love, only emptiness.  That's worst than any form of physical torture."

A:  "I want to be good already, Mama.  I don't want to feel God's absence."

A:  "Why don't we eat meat every Friday, Mama?"

M: "It's our little way of taking part in the sacrifice that Jesus went through in order to give us access to heaven. It's not much.  Some people sacrifice or give up other things, not just meat."

A:  "Like what?"

M:  "Other favorite food; favorite things they do."

A:  "Oh." (He looked at his lightsaber thoughtfully)

M:  (I waited)

A:  (Nothing)

M:  (Oh, well ... maybe next year)

A:  "I'll try to stop grumbling and obey with a happy heart."

M:  (Alleluia!  Even better!) "Sounds good to me"

Culminating Activity:  Vision Boards!

Lenten Series: Taking the Long and Maundy Route

I've always wondered what "Maundy" meant.  Yesterday, my son asked me why Maundy Thursday was called such.  My response was a blank stare and a mental note to myself to finally look it up.

This is what (Online) Merriam-Webster gave me:

Origin of maundy

Middle English maunde, from Old French mandé, from Latin mandatum command, order; from the words spoken by Jesus to his disciples after washing their feet at the Last Supper, “a new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another” (John 13:34 Authorized Version).

Now that we've got that sorted out, let's move on to what I learned from yesterday's recollection held at St. Paul's convent in Pasay.  The speaker, Fr. Rey (I forget his family name), from the Society of St. Paul, chose to dissect the story of The Prodigal Son.

Quick Summary
There was a man with two sons.  The youngest asked his father for his inheritance.  The father, without a word of protest, gave his youngest son his share.  This son goes on to leave his home to spend his inheritance, living lavishly in another country.  A great famine broke out in that country and the youngest son was soon out of money.  He had no choice but to work at a swine place.  In his desolation and hunger, he remembered his life in his father's house and how even the servants are well-fed.  He resolved to go back home, ask forgiveness, and become a servant to his father.  While he was still a long way off, his father saw him and ran to meet him.  The father welcomed his son with a warm hug, a ring on his finger, lavish clothes and a huge party - with the fattened cow as main attraction.
When the eldest son came back home, after toiling in the fields, he heard the merriment and found out that it was for his younger brother who came back.  Naturally, he felt bad and refused to go in.  But his father came out to talk to him, explained everything and urged him to join the celebration.

We don't know if the eldest went in.  It's an open-ended story.   Fr. Rey says it's up to us to fill in the ending.  He also says that we have, in one way or another, played the role of all three characters.

The Characters
The Youngest Son
He is young; wants the most out of life; lives for the moment; rash or impulsive.  Some would think him selfish and stubborn.  BUT he is also humble, ready to accept his mistakes, ask forgiveness and willing to work his way back to his father's graces.

The Eldest Son
He is more mature; has foresight; responsible; obedient; hardworking; faithful.  Some would think him too quiet, unassertive, accepting everything until he just boils over (pa-martyr, in other words).  BUT he also exhibited the most love for their father, even getting hurt and angry at his brother for the pain his father went through.  He is also in need of love he is afraid to ask.  He never asked for anything. ("Son, you are always with me and everything I have is yours" ... all you have to do is ask).

The Father - the epitome of God the Father

Loving. He loved both his sons consistently and constantly albeit very differently - according to each son's language of love.

Wise.  He knew that his youngest son is stubborn and talking him out of his plans would only agitate him, so he allowed his son to go through the long and maundy (allowing his son to learn in his own terms is the hardest, most heartbreaking, but, also, most loving thing the father could do) route.

" ... Sometimes it's necessary to go a long distance out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly." (Edward Albee, The Zoo Story).

"One must first come around to asking a basic question before there can ever be a change in basic answers." (Robert L. Short, The Parables of Peanuts)

Patient.  He let his son go, allowing him as much time he needed to learn everything he had to learn from the entire experience.  Truly experience is the best teacher.

Expectant.  Note, that he saw his son coming from a long way away.  This means, that he had been expecting his son to come back home.  He was probably waiting and looking out for him everyday.  This shows: (1) how well he knew his son; and (2) his faith at his son's capacity for a change of heart.

Forgiving.  At the end of the day, no matter how much his son hurt him (Read: Asking for inheritance while he was still alive; wasting and losing all that hard-earned money; the gull to come back!), he forgave him.  In fact, he forgave him the minute he decided to give that inheritance.

Reconciling.  He went out of the house to reason with his elder son because, above all else, he wants the brothers to be reconciled and loving each other.

I find, that I have been a mixture of both brothers - stubbornly working on my plans in my own terms, following (forcing) my timing; while, at the same time, lacking in conviction that I am God's child, afraid (or, perhaps, too proud) to ask from His vast reserves of blessings and graces.  I have been taking the long and maundy route.  Hopefully, I would find my way back the short distance correctly by asking - with expectant faith - for His graces (and blessings!).

As a mother, I hope and pray for the courage to parent my son the way the father did - especially in terms of less talk and allowing him more freedom to experience life and learn from it on his own terms and timing.

Lenten Series: Jesus' Life is Art

I have just started reading "The Parables of PEANUTS" by Robert L. Short.  It talks about how Charles Schulz used the comic strip as a medium to share his Christian faith.

A few pages in, I was struck by the following lines:
"Art, on the other hand, can also entertain us, but it goes further.  It leads us through its dream back to a reality that perhaps we had not seen before or to a reality that we now see in a different light."

If you think about it, Jesus was an actor who immersed Himself completely into the role He was playing.  From the very beginning, He knew exactly what He was getting into.  He knew the script, how the story was going to play out.  He knew there was going to be a terrible passion ... before there can be salvation for men and resurrection; the Sorrowful Mysteries before the Glorious Mysteries.  And He played His role perfectly and faithfully.

Sunday's 2nd Reading:
Philippians 2:6-11
"Christ Jesus, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God something to be grasped.  Rather, he emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, coming in human likeness; and found human   in appearance, he humbled himself, becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross."

Jesus did not teach God's word in direct terms with a list of Do's and Don'ts.  He spoke in parables and He showed us through the life He lived and how He interacted with every person He brushed with.

"... sermons should not be preached  in churches but in the street, in the midst of life, of the reality, of the daily life, weekday life." (Kierkegaard)

From Sunday's 1st Reading:

Isaiah 50:4-7

"The Lord God has given me a well-trained tongue, that I might know how to speak to the weary a word that will rouse them. Morning after morning he opens my ear that I may hear ..."

He did not have to scream who He was.  It was apparent in how He lived.

From Sunday's Gospel:
Luke 23:1-49 (or Luke 22:14-23:56)
Pilate asked him, “Are you the king of the Jews?” He said to him in reply, “You say so.”

"The centurion who witnessed what had happened glorified God and said, “This man was innocent beyond doubt.” When all the people who had gathered for this spectacle saw what had happened, they returned home beating their breasts;"

Walking through the dream of Jesus' life by contemplating the Gospels enables us to see the reality of our lives and to perceive it in a much different light.  Like any pure and true art form, Jesus' life moves us to change and to action.  The challenge is to live it consistently daily as He did.

Lenten Series: Chrysalis

I read an article about butterflies on "Today I Found Out" over the internet.  Below is a snippet:

"Today I found out caterpillars’ bodies “melt” almost completely before morphing into butterflies in the chrysalis.

In order for the change from a caterpillar to a butterfly to take place within the pupa, the caterpillar begins releasing enzymes that literally digest nearly all of its own body.  What’s left inside the chrysalis is mostly just a very nutrient rich soup from which the butterfly will begin to form."

The most significant and beautiful changes take place over a long and painful period.  In a lot of cases, it is not only a gut-wrenching but a caterpillar-body-melting-in-a-chrysalis process. To top it off, we don't normally know what the heck He's working on.  He's not the type who would show us a picture of a beautiful butterfly and tell us, "That's what I'm turning you into."  No. It's always a surprise.  And sometimes, even though we know He's working on us, it just gets so painful and difficult that  it's so easy - almost a comfort - to just give up, despair and raise a fist at Him (Read:  Seriously, what the hell, God?! Tao lang!).  

When you feel like you are in a chrysalis, go through these snippets from last Sunday's readings.

First, acknowledge it.

 

1st Reading: Isaiah 43:16-21

"Remember not the events of the past, the things of long ago consider not; see, I am doing something new! Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?"

Often, we do not notice (or, perhaps, take for granted) the many blessings He set in place to make the journey / morphing a wee-bit easier.  Try and keep your eyes open.  They are there.  Take comfort in them and be grateful.

"Wild beasts honor me, jackals and ostriches, for I put water in the desert and rivers in the wasteland for my chosen people to drink, the people whom I formed for myself..."

When it gets difficult, it's easy to think, "Must I go through this? I'm fine just the way I am" and even hope for things to be the way they were before.  Don't give in. Eyes on the prize!

2nd Reading: Philippians 3:8-14

"Just one thing: forgetting what lies behind but straining forward to what lies ahead, I continue my pursuit toward the goal, the prize of God’s upward calling, in Christ Jesus."

Once He is done, rest assured that He will deliver 100% customer satisfaction and more. The blood, sweat and tears will be worth it.

Responsorial Psalm: Psalm 126:1-2, 2-3, 4-5, 6

"Those that sow in tears shall reap rejoicing. Although they go forth weeping, carrying the seed to be sown, they shall come back rejoicing, carrying their sheaves."

And then there should be no turning back.

Gospel: John 8:1-11

"Then Jesus said, “... Go, and from now on do not sin any more.”

Lenten Series: Changeovers

We've heard it said time and again:  The only constant in life is Change.  I agree!  And there is nothing quite as scary and exciting at the same time as Change about to happen.  When God brings you to the threshold of that door, your hand on the doorknob, about to turn it, there's that split second of anxiety and cold feet.  (I suggest to just go right ahead and take the leap of faith; lest it becomes a long and agonizing process). Then you turn the doorknob, rush in, heart beating wildly, eyes momentarily closed - and the exhilaration is just crazy! (Now open your eyes ... Wow! Right?!)

What the readings last March 6 stress is that, when God takes you through a changeover, it is always good.  

When He takes something, He gives something better.

1st Reading:  Joshua 5:9, 10-12

"On that same day after the Passover on which they ate of the produce of the land, the manna ceased. No longer was there manna for the Israelites, who that year ate of the yield of the land of Canaan."

It is worth noting here, that while God walks with you towards where you ought to be, He takes care of all your needs. (Much like parents make sure there are snacks in the car for the long drive to the beach.  It's not binge fest level, but it's sufficient).

When He brings change, it is complete.

2nd Reading:  2 Corinthians 15:17-21

"Brothers and sisters: Whoever is in Christ is a new creation: the old things have passed away. Behold, new things have come."

When He works on a heart, He changes it from the core - no matter what it takes, no matter how long it takes.

Gospel:  Luke 15:1-3, 11-32

"He said to him, ‘My son, you are here with me always; everything I have is yours. But now we must celebrate and rejoice, because your brother was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.’”

The process can be a simple and quick talk on a perspective change:  "My son, you are here with me always; everything I have is yours." (Read:  "All you had to do was ASK!").

Or it can be a long and painful "learning-by-experience" process where He lets you trudge on stubbornly, all the while believing in your capability to change; and patiently and expectantly waiting for the new YOU to come home:  "So he got up and went back to his father. While he was still a long way off, his father caught sight of him, and was filled with compassion. He ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him. " 

Poetic Doses

"Run!", she screamed
I knew that she was right
And I knew that I should have
But I didn't
Although I could have
So, now, I have.

****

"Where are you off to?"  I asked.
"To the secret rooms of my mind," she replied, not looking back.
I had not seen nor heard from her since.
But she sent me these.
One day, I will find her and disappear with her.

****

It was there that I found her,
Underneath the lone light;
Deliriously chasing colors,
That tumbled from her mind.

****

But Time, I find, has no power here.

****

Finally, she leaned back, admiring her work.
"A masterpiece takes time, commitment, and a lot of heart," she said.
"Sounds like love," I said.
She shook her head,
"These days, hearts change faster than a masterpiece is finished.
Forever is a commodity used only as a pretty word in poetry."
I wanted to say, I have loved her forever,
but she was already staring out the window;
once again, lost in her own world.

****

And for the first time
She is able to see him
Differently
A smile tugging at her lips

And for the first time
He is able to study her face
Openly
A change from sidelong glances

And for the first time
They are face to face
Intimately
A palpable thrill between them

And for the first time
The point does not matter
Remotely
As they gave in to the kiss.

****

She walked briskly
Always rushing
He caught her eye briefly
A slight pause
Both shared furtively
Unspoken volumes
   in a glance
   and a smile.

Lenten Series: Time and Attention

Some miracles do not happen overnight.  Most take time, require much attention, tender loving care and a heaping of faith - stacked over and over and over again.

I've been a work-in-progress for years.  I don't know when I'll ever get to even a third of what He has planned for me.  But I am grateful, that, despite being a bonsai, the Gardener continues to believe in me, patiently tending to me, cultivating me and fertilizing my spirit --- especially at times when even I have thrown my hands up in frustration and given up on myself.  

From Sunday's Gospel:  Luke 13:1-9

"And he told them this parable: “There once was a person who had a fig tree planted in his orchard, and when he came in search of fruit on it but found none, 7 he said to the gardener, ‘For three years now I have come in search of fruit on this fig tree but have found none. So cut it down. Why should it exhaust the soil?’ 8 He said to him in reply, ‘Sir, leave it for this year also, and I shall cultivate the ground around it and fertilize it; 9 it may bear fruit in the future. If not you can cut it down.’”

Poetic Dose: My Faceless Series

I have believed
You
The dream of you
The possibility of you

I have followed
You
Amongst crowds
Into vast empty fields

I have touched
You
Your hands
And broad strong chest

I have felt
You
Your warmth
And the beating of your heart

Only in dreams ...

I have lost
You
In the sudden turns
And the sudden drops

Powerless

I let go of
You
The dream of you
The possibility of you

... and me.