Poetic Doses

Post 2009 musings ... in no particular order, in no particular reality.

***
amidst the battle within
keeping my eyes closed.

against everything i know
i lay my bets on the impossible.

***
2nd Day

i awake to
shifting shades
of amber
and gray;
i brush them off
the final strands
of dream
--- or drunkeness
towards sobriety
--- or insanity;
clarity drifts in
slowly
___ a void
in its wake.

***
for one brief moment
a semblance of bliss
till i found
i am alone in my heaven

***

i am a prisoner of circumstance
or perhaps
a victim of the gods' folly
this is my curse

rendered helpless
and sleepless
by love 
that shall never be birthed.

***
Unbrave

happy endings
are lost to the unbrave.

they lie 
between the echoes
of feelings
unspoken;
and hide 
in the shadows
of first steps
and leaps of faith
that never
left the ground .

we are doomed
you and i ---
unbrave;
caught
in the folly
in the unending dance
of pride.

***
mind games

i have come full circle
back to where we began
to find a stranger staring back
through the You-shaped void
of my childhood dreams
and grown-up hopes

all at once, i knew
you are never coming back. 

***

just one word
and i've come undone
run!
an urgent voice
inside me
says
yet i remain
eyes closed
heart racing
unable to breathe.

***
OUAT

my every sense wakens
in your presence
intoxicated, i lose grasp
of my faculties;
and bottled-up emotions
clamor for light.

i walk in an alternate reality
where and when you are
suspended in time
slow motion in a dream-like state
the Enchanted Forest
swirling into Storybrook.

i yearn to be Snow White,
Charming's one true love;
yet i am merely Rumplestiltskin,
helpless under the dagger's power;
doomed to be Regina
once Marianne claims her Robin.

***

what if?

what if this is it?

yet i turn my back from it
as constantly and consistently
as this love comes knocking
through every season

perhaps i should
follow Beverly -
steadfast, trusting ... and sure
"if you're what i've got,"
she said
"then you're what i'll take".

***
the day after Sev's Cafe

my soul is moved
my muse stirs
drunk in life
and its painful beauty
last night
leaves me wanting
more
and again.

***
Parallel Universes

i cannot say
the exact moment
nor fully comprehend
the how ---
perhaps a swift blow
from cupid's stray arrow,
or the slow burning
of daily small gestures;
or the why's ---
similarly wired brains,
the unspoken partnership
or, perhaps,
simply
the volumes unspoken
from a sideways glance,
the undefined yearning
from a brief touch.

i cannot say
my exact sentiments
my heart, as conflicted
as your cryptic messages ---
tossed around in a sea
of late night exchanges,
pulled deeper in the undercurrent
of the almost-but-never-quite;
my soul, as lost
as your true meaning ---
wound up
in the rollercoaster ride
of your affections
-- or affectations?

i cannot know
may never want to know
perhaps i shall just
draw a cupful of comfort ---
these moments
of mutual tenderness
came to pass
a wrinkle in time
perhaps somewhere
in a parallel universe ---
i am 
for you
the very heartbeat
that brings you to life.

***
take me to a place

where the sun kisses the sea
the air, moist and salty
and the only sound is
the endless lapping of waves.  

***
indeed there is beauty
in words strung gracefully together
but there is nothing
absolutely nothing
as beautiful as
colors in harmony.

***
my sun
 
i am consumed by 
the colors of the sun
it haunts me in my dreams
and my waking hours
i close my eyes 
and i feel its warmth
kissing
painting my face
a beautiful salmon pink
amidst the deep blue.